Ready Prematurely

This week, for whatever reason, I've been having difficulty eating up to my minimum points target. Saturday I had 10 points left at 9pm and I was just not hungry at all. I made myself eat a big baked potato with lots of fixings, but even that still left me 1 point short. And then on Sunday I made sure to snack and eat a big dinner, but after the workshop at 10pm I still was 5 points short. I don't know what's going on. I've also only used 8 of my anytime points this week and I haven't had the urge to use any more than that. I'm not doing anything different, at least I don't think so. The only thing I've added to my diet is probably 2 apples a day...I wonder if the added fiber is keeping my hunger levels low. Hmm. Either way, it's something I want to talk to my leader about. One day wouldn't make me nervous, but two days in a row has me a little concerned.

I've only eaten out twice this week, which I am proud of. Holly and I went to the Chicago Diner on Wednesday. I had the vegan shepherd's pie with SWEET POTATOES on top. Oh man, it was a food orgasm. I also found out that the ingredients for the meat part were just lentils, mushrooms, seitan, and leafy greens. Healthy and oh so yummy! I also had some squash soup, which was one of the best things I've had at the diner. It was really light, because they didn't use any cream or butter. Soooooo good. I also had Subway on Saturday, again with Miss Holly. I had the sweet onion chicken sandwich, which has a pretty low points value. We ate it in the sun on this tiny little patio along a high way. It was pretty ridiculous.

Other than that, Dan and I have been trying to be really good about cooking in all week. When we feel the urge to go out to eat, we go out to the grocery store and customize a meal together. It's fun and we still feel like we've "gone out." We are dorks, but I enjoy it.

I've worked out 3 days this week. I didn't work out on Saturday, but I think that the amount of running around that Holly and I did should account for some sort of good exercise. I also intend on working out today and tomorrow, which will bring my total up to 5 days.

So my wedding is 7 months away (HOLY GOD), and at the rate I've been losing so far (10 pounds a month) I could lose up to 70 additional pounds by then. Of course, I am not going to set my goal that high because it is unrealistic, so if I could lose 40 more I would be glowing. Anyway, whether it is 40 pounds or 70 pounds, there are a lot of changes in clothes sizes in between. So Holly will be making me a wrap skirt for my wedding and we're going to measure it in March. We figure that whether I stay the same or lose another 20 pounds the wrap will help us adjust. I'm so excited.

There are so many good things happening right now that I just want to stop and be thankful for. I am engaged to my best friend. He fully supports everything I do and everything I am (or try to be). I can't say enough how excited we both are to be married. I have been asked a couple times if we're going to wait to get married so we can enjoy the engagement, but our answer is something we are both really clear on...we will enjoy the engagement, sure, but what we really WANT to enjoy is being married. We both really want to be married to each other, so much that we had seriously discussed getting married over Thanksgiving this year. Being engaged is exciting and special and fun, but what I'm more excited about is that I'll be married to Dan very soon. We have been together two and a half years and we'll be married 3 months after our three year anniversary. The wedding planning has been happening fast, but I think it has to when the date is less than a year away. We also both know what we want, which has made it extremely easy.

Other things that I am feeling particularly blessed about: Having AMAZING weight watcher buddies! This is the first time in such a long time that I've felt so supported, motivated, and excited about taking care of myself. I feel encouraged and loved, and what more could a person ask for? It's also been helpful to come home to Dan who is always encouraging us to make healthy choices as a couple, both in what we keep in the house and also where we go out to eat. He hasn't tempted me once and I adore him for it.

I also feel so thankful to have such an amazing cast and crew for Into the Pool. One of our actors last night said something that meant a lot to me; she said that she was extremely excited about the project because she hasn't worked on a show that made her feel proud for a long time. It gave me chills when she said it, as a company member, as the director, and as the fiancee of the playwright. This script makes me feel extremely proud, too. I love that I daydream about the blocking at work and have been feeling so inspired by things I hear through out the day. This show could be really good.

The only thing that could be better is my work situation, but I am always saying that. I know I am building my resume and I know that when I apply to grad school I will be able to say, "This is the professional theatre experience I have gained since college. See, I was working in my field, damnit!" But it is hard to not be making a salary and to have two jobs. I keep thinking that it is just 9 more months and then I will either be getting ready to go back to grad school or finally deciding to just take the 9-5 so I can really focus on theatre at night. That is the big decision that is forever up and coming. I will say that when I sat down to write my curriculum, it came so easily to me. And I feel ready to step back into the classroom, albeit a little scared. I can't imagine how amazing it must be to teach theatre all day through out the school year, to have the option of directing high school students at night, and then to have the summers off to travel or do professional theatre. I am beginning to think it is what I really want, but this school year will really help me make a more informed decision.

This has gone off the diet path. Oh well. It's important to say things when you feel the need to say them.