Perspective

So here is the revised plan. Aileen, you are amazing.

1. I'm going back to 30 minutes until I feel comfortable increasing the time.
2. I'm going to set my goal at 30x26 (or at one day off per week).
3. I'm going back to the early morning walk, because I know I have time everyday to commit.

Regardless, the weight lifting plan remains the same for this month, with my lovely man Dan as my partner. Wee!

Reset Button?

So the 45x30 challenge has been a disaster thus far. Since it started I have only exercised three of the nine days. I missed 2 days due to rain, 3 days due to feeling sick, and 1 day due to lack of sleep. Right now I see two options at my feet:

1. Start over! Tomorrow is the 10th, so I could make the challenge 45x20.

2. Admit that 45 minutes still seems like a lot of exercise to me. Go back to the 30x30 challenge until I feel really comfortable adding in the extra minutes.

3. Change the challenge rules to allow myself one day off a week.

Advice would be appreciated. I by no means am giving up on exercise, but I do want to create a new plan that works for me.

I've been really wanting to continue exercising in the morning, as once I am awake I find it really easy. I do get a little nervous being out so early in the dark alone, though. Aileen, do you have any suggestions as to how to get over this ridiculous fear?

Anyway, I've been on point for eating this week and have only used half of my anytime points. This weekend I had a much easier time not snacking, for whatever reason. I've been switching back and forth at work between eating lean cuisines and bringing a wrap. I've also been trying hard to meet all my healthy guidelines, so I've been eating a banana with my breakfast, putting lots of romaine and spinach on my wraps, and having at least one vegetable with dinner. I like to snack on fruit during the day, but only if it is really fresh and in season which is hard to find in the city, even at the farmers markets (in my opinion). I think I was spoiled growing up in Minnesota where apple farms and berry farms were always so close to our house. Sad.

In terms of progress, my jeans are really loose on my thighs and butt now. A couple of my tighter shirts no longer hug my stomach. And my newer red skirt (that I am in love with) slides down my hips now. I think I will see even more progress once I am able to get back on track with exercise, but for now I feel pretty good.

Theatre Chairs

Dan and I went to see Torch Song Trilogy this afternoon. It was good, but it was three hours long and the chairs were SO UNCOMFORTABLE. As a result, my neck and shoulders are killing me. It was nice to see Evan and Ryan, though. Ryan always makes me cry onstage and today was no exception. He is a very powerful performer. The women in the show were also pretty incredible and I'd be interested to see them read for our future shows.

Dan and I did 45 minute walks on Friday and Saturday. No exercise today, though. I was going to walk after the show, but the chairs dashed all hopes of that. I have taken three advil, drank a large amount of caffeine, and even put icy hot on it to no avail. I should have gone to a chiropractor when I first hurt my back, but I had to be impatient about it (as I am about most things). oh well. I guess you reap what you sow. I am going to do a long day of exercise tomorrow (since it is my day off) to make up for it and then get back to my AM walks on Tuesday. Hooray.

We went out to eat with Ryan and Yolanda last night, which was delightful. It was nice to be out leisurely with friends. We've been so busy with Blackbird stuff that we haven't really had time to just be with anybody in a while. And it was pretty easy to eat well too. I had a spicy black bean burger and a plain salad. It's nice to have so much support from friends. I also have to give props to Yolanda for her sweet Obama shirt. Obama 08, indeed.

So I don't mention it enough, but Dan is quite amazing, brilliant, and supportive. It's already been very exciting to work on Into the Pool with him and we're only in the preliminary stages. I also feel very good that we'll be at rehearsals together (with Ryan, Yolanda, and Holly too) because we'll be able to help each other eat healthy. I was already talking to Holly about how I plan on bringing fruit to all of the workshops so that there is a healthy snack for everybody and we've been talking about how we could meet before workshops to go for long walks or to get a healthy dinner. The cool thing is that the five of us could all meet to walk, or to dine, or whatever. We'll have to form some sort of theatre health club.

But back to Dan Jackson. I blog about him a lot on my semi private blog (that exactly 4 people read) and I figure that the majority of the people reading this right now have probably met him. But I have to give him props. No matter what crazy scheme I have in mind, he is always right there beside me. He walks in the park with me every time I'm not feeling the motivation. He cooks healthy meals for us, takes me out to healthy restaurants, and looks the other way when I sneak healthy food into the movie theatre. He keeps me in balance. If it wasn't for Dan, I would probably be out every night spending my money on scarves or alcohol. But he also is almost always willing to go do whatever ridiculous thing I *HAVE* to do on the weekends. And when he isn't in the mood, he never makes me feel guilty about going out without him. He's good to all my friends. In fact, he is going with me and friends next weekend to the Renegade Craft Fair to show support of our friend Holly. He's cool with living in Boystown and hanging out at gay bars. He loves Disney World and various other kitschy attractions. Hell, he is taking me to Disney World in October and has traveled to the Wisconsin Dells with me twice in the last year! Dan is just a very good guy. I feel really lucky. I like to think I keep him in balance, too. It's a good partnership.

I say this because I do feel very lucky to have such balance in my life while I'm in the midst of such a big lifestyle change. Because no matter what anyone says, the way you eat, exercise and choose to take care of your body is a HUGE part of your life every single day. For three and a half years with Damian I had absolutely no support whatsoever. He was a very apathetic person. And even though I'm sure he cared about him, he didn't really care about helping me. That really sucked. So I feel good that I can share and change with someone in my life. It feels good. Although I have to give props to all the other people who are helping me on the journey. You all know who you are. :) And as ridiculous as it is, I have to give props to my boss (who doesn't read this blog, I'm sure). At first it made me laugh that we were both doing weight watchers at the same time, but now it actually has become pretty helpful. It's nice to have another person in the office who is abstaining from the free food.

Have I mentioned that we actually held hands during a company party with cajun food? No joke. My boss grabbed my hand for support while we stared at all the greasy, sweaty food. We had an odd relationship. An odd, odd relationship.

The dust has settled...

Dan dusted our bedroom yesterday and as a result I slept through the night for the first time in three weeks and woke up with clear sinuses. It is utterly ridiculous that we didn't think of this after the second week of my complaints of a stuffy nose. Last summer when we moved in I could barely breathe in our apartment until we had dusted, swept, and mopped several times. And even though I often dust the dressers, the bookshelves, the desk and the window sills, we haven't actually done the blinds or the ceiling fan for a few months. So. Never again.

I lost .2 pounds this week, which put me exactly at a 20 pounds! Woo hoo! I started laughing when I saw the book. I am really happy that I lost at all, with only three days of exercise last week and TOM in town. Awesome! On a side note, I had set a goal to lose 5 pounds in August and I not only met it but surpassed it. I feel pretty good about that.

My goal for September is to lose 7 pounds. I'm setting the bar higher than I did last time, but I still don't want to shoot for 10, because it is a much harder goal to meet.

Also, for all you dieters out there, here are my products of the week that I can't live without:

1. Jello brand Dulche de Leche pudding cups. They are 60 calories per cup and they are a very satisfying snack. The top layer is caramel and the bottom layer is a sort of butterscotch/vanilla flavored pudding. It tastes very decadent.

2. Chex Mix Turtle Trail Bars (thanks Yolanda). They come in around 2 points and are probably the best tasting granola bar I've ever had. The chex mix is covered in caramel and there are pieces of pretzel and chocolate too. It tastes a lot like a candy bar, so I keep one in my purse now in case I get a sweet craving. They are also pretty big and usually fill me up for a couple hours.

3. Weight Watchers Peanut Butter Bars. Oh my God. These bars are SERIOUSLY delicious. They are one point per serving and on the smaller side, but I would compare them to eating a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup. The peanut butter is incredibly creamy and the chocolate is very chewy, just like the real thing. It's probably half the size of a 3 musketeers bar, but SO worth it.

That's all I've got for the day. Now that my sinuses are clear the headache is gone along with the feeling of drowsiness I'd been dealing with for so long. Back to exercise, I say! Hoorah! If it is raining tonight, my plan is to do yoga, weight training, and perhaps some Wii boxing. Very exciting stuff.

TOM

Weigh in tonight. TOM started today, which isn't a good sign. It can add up to 3 pounds in water weight, which sucks. Even if you actually maintained your weight for the week, you would show up as 3 pounds heavier. Blah. Everyone from WW says that TOM weight goes away the following week and not to worry, and that it is difficult to show your true weight loss during TOM. So I'm not going to be upset if I have a gain tonight. I'm just stating it in advance.

I'll wipe my nose on you!

So here is the deal. For the past three weeks I've been dealing with runny noses, sneezing, and just general misery in the face. I am at a point where I think it HAS to be allergies, but I still don't know quite what to do about it.

I didn't walk yesterday morning because I could barely breath through my nose. I was going to walk last night, but by the time we made decisions about casting and called everyone it was after 8pm and we still hadn't had dinner. So it sucked, but I was okay with it.

This morning my nose woke me up at 4am. I couldn't get it to calm down. Ridiculous! And now I am trying to weigh out whether I suffer the nose and the breathing and just walk, or try to wait again until tonight! It's always the worst in the morning and it usually clears up by mid afternoon. Actually, I just checked with Dan and he said that he would go on a walk with me before Weight Watchers and before dinner. So that's good at least.

We're also going to dust the hell out of our bedroom, just in case that's what the problem is. The last time we dusted may have been during Margaret Fleming...

In general though, I hope this nose/allergy crap goes away. I HATE feeling sick in the morning. I hate waking up early because my nose is stuffed up. Yuck!

There is a weigh in tonight! I'm nervous, as always and thinking about everything I potentially did wrong this week. Oh well, for better or for worse it is always better to weigh in than to skip it.

Today was the start of of my 45x30 and it went splendidly. I start out by walking north on Pine Grove to Irving Park. I head east on Irving to the lake front paths and then I take the walkers path that veers around the playground south to Addison. It took exactly 45 minutes. I don't know if I'd feel comfortable doing it by myself really early in the morning though, because it goes right along the empty golf course (the golf course seems so eerie to me when it is deserted). 

This month also marks the start of weight training three times a week. For now I'm planning that I'll do it on Tuesdays, Thursdays and then either on Saturday or Sunday. 

There are a lot of mile marks coming up for me this month and next. The workshops begin for Into the Pool begin on September 14th. I begin teaching October 6th, but the professional development seminars begin in two weeks. Dan and I are going to Disney World on October 9th. I'd like to lose another 10 pounds before Disney World. It's exactly five weeks away, which would mean I'd have to lose an average of 2 pounds per week. I'll be fine either way if I don't meet the goal, but it's fun to think about. Dan has said that we can make sure to work out each day that we're in Disney, even if it's just swimming laps in the pool or walking the whole park each day before we start going on rides.

I feel good about this week. I made the HG peanut butter fudge tonight, which is an excellent treat to have throughout the week. Dan is feeling under the weather, I think I gave him my cold from last week. :(

Dan and I wanted to watch some of the RNC tonight, but Gustav has interrupted coverage on all our news stations. They are predicting that up to other 5 hurricanes may hit New Orleans this week, which is pretty damn scary. We expected to turn the channel and be horrified by Republicans, not tropical storms! Just kidding, all you Republicans that I know and love.

Seriously, though. I truly hope that there can be a sense of unity in our country again instead of all the Republican versus Democrat crap that we are constantly wading through. At the end of the day, we're all just people with a lot of different opinions. There are even very few Democrats that I've found who believe the same things I do. One of the best things that Obama has said to date is that, "there is a difference between the way the world is and the way it could be. Most people are afraid to look at the areas in between." Well, he said it more eloquently than that, but I really agree. In fact, if you were to look at Blackbird's mission statement, I believe you would find very similar words. :) But I do think, with this election at least, that we do really need to consider the big picture (what absolutely needs to change). 

Rhetoric, go!