I am a Sea Monster.

So exercise has been difficult since I got back from Disney. Last Friday Dan and I went for a 40 minute walk and then on Saturday we went for an hour walk. But that's all she wrote, folks.

Sunday there was just too much going on in prep for the workshop. Monday I was having a very hard personal day and I was also very busy with Blackbird stuff. I have been trying to wake up at 6:15 now to work out in the morning, but have discovered every morning that it is A. Too Dark for me to want to get up and B. Too cold for me to want to get up. So that killed exercise on Tuesday for me and this morning, too.

I need to figure something out that works for me, folks. It needs to work within my schedule and it needs to work with the cold early morning hours AND it needs to work with the eventual reherasals I'll be having three nights a week. So here is what I'm going to try...

On Mondays and Wednesdays I have the morning off from work. So sometime between 9am and 12pm I need to muster up the courage to go outside when it's cold and walk for 30 minutes.

On Saturdays and Sundays there is plenty of time when I am not busy - but would rather be curled up on the couch doing nothing. I can find time in between weekend craziness to walk for 30 minutes, especially since Dan is willing to go with me on the weekends.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays I work a full day - and starting in Dec. I will have rehearsal every Tuesday night. I also have been going to Weight Watchers on Thursdays after work. So on these days I need to wake up early and lift weights in the house. It will be less chilly than the early AM jaunt outside and it will be lighter in the house too. So there.

And finally - on Fridays I can just stick with what I'm doing now! Dan and I have made quite a lovely habit of walking to Hollywood Video and back every Friday night. It takes 20 minutes each way (and we keep the pace up by power walking) plus it helps us save money on the weekends!

Okay. I like this plan. It varies what I'm doing during the weekdays, but it does so in order to work with my schedule. I am normally the kind of person that likes to have the same plan for every day, but clearly life is busy and I can't have everything I want all the time.

And now - onto the title of this blog. To keep discipline in my classroom, my students can "earn" minutes for the playground (which I can constantly threaten to take away if they are being bad). Wednesday's class had a Halloween theme and they wanted to take it with them on the playground too. So they deemed me the "sea monster." The blue area of the playground floor was my swamp and the playground was the boat. And if they got off the boat into the swamp, then I could chase them. At first I was hesitant to be the monster, mostly because I haven't done a lot of running since last fall (when I taught the sports and rec class) and I could barely keep up with the kids then. But they wanted me to be the monster (and I wanted to do it too), so I agreed to play along with the thought that I could always tag a kid and make them the monster when I got tired. So I started to run all around the playground, chasing kids and tickling them. The kids got a huge kick out of it, they would all jump down and taunt me and then run away screaming as I would roar and give chase. And, to my surprise, for the full fifteen minutes I didn't get winded! I ran all up and down the playground, screaming, jumping, picking up kids and throwing them in the air...and it felt really good! I was a little sweaty by the end of it, but I could breathe easily and I probably could have played a little longer!

And so I say this. Even when I have a hard week of exercise or a hard week of eating, I have lost almost 30 pounds and I FEEL HEALTHIER. My body is lighter and my muscles are starting to take shape. The only cravings I get now are for big bowls of vegetables, a honey crisp apple, or maybe a baked potato. I am walking at a faster pace and I am less hungry through out the day. By no means have I perfected my diet and I know I will have more slip ups as I continue forward, but I am past the starting point now and well into the journey. And things are looking different for me. I like that.

So close...

I lost 3.8 pounds this week, so I have now lost a total of 29.6 pounds. Woo hoo! This means that, as long as I REASONABLY control myself at Disney, I may have a good chance of hitting 30 pounds next week. We plan on going for long walks every morning at the parks, plus we'll be doing a lot of walking all day anyway. AND we're bringing granola bars and fiber one pastries for breakfast and for snacks to eat throughout the day. So as long as I don't choose the super fried gooey entrees for lunch and dinner, I'm hoping to do pretty well. Either way, lose or gain, I'll still be at my 16 week celebration next week! And I'm going to be in Disney for FIVE WHOLE DAYS! FIVE DAYS AWAY FROM WORK! OH MY GOD, WE LEAVE TOMORROW!

I work from 3-5pm today and then tomorrow from 9-1pm and then BAM! Dan and I will be on our way to Disney World.

Here is our Disney Magic plan...

Friday morning we are going to start at Epcot, so we can make dinner reservations. We're going to spend either the whole day there, or split our day in half and spend the afternoon at MGM. But either way we want to be back at Epcot for dinner on Friday night.

Saturday morning we're going to the Animal Kingdom. Saturday afternoon we'll head over to Downtown Disney to do Disney Quest, Cirque Du Soleil, and then we're going clubbing at Pleasure Island (dancing and drinking all night long)!!!

Sunday morning we're going to start at MGM, so we can make dinner reservations. Then we'll either spend the whole day at MGM or again split our day between MGM and Epcot. Then back to MGM for dinner!

Finally we're going to spend all day Monday at the Magic Kingdom! YAYY!

I hate my Period, I eat Pizza

So I felt like I had almost a perfect week. I ate fruits and veggies every day, I made smart choices, and I only used 12 of my 35 anytime points. I also got in a pretty decent amount of exercise on 4 days. AND I was really able to start feeling where I had lost weight this weekend. There was a point on Saturday when I looked in the mirror and could see all these tiny changes that are starting to have an effect.

But Tuesday night I ate sea salt soaked edamame, which I've done the day before a weigh in and been perfectly fine! But I guess it's not smart to suck down a lot of sodium the day before your PERIOD and then jump on a scale and expect to see happiness.

I only gained .6, which is NOT BAD. But I had SUCH a good week. And I felt really bloated in the morning when I woke up, which is the worst feeling ever on a weigh in day. Sigh. Maggie said that weight gain during your period is not a myth and that if affects everyone differently, even a guy at the meeting chimed in and said his wife always gains the week of her period (his wife would have been THRILLED if she'd been in the room). So I'm not going to beat myself up about it. But I was already having a super bad day at work and I was crabby and tired, so it didn't help matters.

To top it off, Dan had a horrible day at work and was also in a bad mood when he got home. It was no good. We've both been craving Dominoes pizza for weeks, so we decided to pull out the old Dining Out Companion to see what kind of damage it'd do. It turns out that 1 slice of pepperoni pizza is 6 points, and I had 19 points left, so we ordered a medium pizza immediately. And I think it genuinely did make us both feel better, which is a little ridiculous. I also gave Dan a really long back rub, which I think much have helped him too. Anyway, I was still hungry after the pizza, so I used 10 of this week's anytime points. The depressing thing is that even after I ate the 10 I was still hungry (and not in the, "I'm stuffed but I still want to eat way. My stomach still had room in it). But I stopped at 10 and I feel good about that.

But this morning I had a grease stomach ache, which I haven't had in almost three months now. So that was a little depressing. I don't regret eating the pizza though, I had the points for it and I didn't go overboard (and I certainly could have). Plus I am of the mindset that you shouldn't deprive yourself when you have been craving something and pizza has been on the brain for the longest time.

So I had a Jamba Juice this morning so that I could fill up on some good fiber and I have both a reasonable lunch and dinner packed for myself, along with some snacks (I'm staying late to see Edward for the second time). I'm also going to take a 30 minute walk on the pier after work today, since I wasn't in the mood this morning. Cold weather totally sucks.

I think my goal for this week will be to exercise every day since I have Disney coming in 1 week! The goal will also be to try hard to not use the rest of my anytime points (I still have 25, but I want to try and ignore them). And just in general to really try and get in at least 4 servings of fruits or veggies every day this week. I want to have a good week before Disney, so I can try to use that motivation towards not blowing the whole week while I'm dancing with Minnie Mouse.

The cool thing is that the week I get back from Disney will be my "16 week" celebration! 16 weeks from the week you sign up they give you a little gift to remind you that you've made a big commitment to yourself. I think it's good that the week I receive mine will be the day after the trip. If I can keep in mind that I'm getting a reward for being awesome when I get home, maybe that will help me choose lite drinks and pasta with tomato sauce instead of all the unhealthy "Goofy" side dishes. Man. I wish they really called them Goofy Side Dishes. That would make everything taste better.

Champion

So here is my exercise "progress" in September:

I went for five 45 minute walks.
I went for three 40 minute walks.
I went for eight 30 minute walks.
I lifted weights seven times.

In other words, I exercised 23 times in September! Granted, sometimes it was twice a day, but I still feel really good about that number. I'd like to see if go up in October, though. Hopefully it will.

I also have lost 6.6 pounds in September, however I still technically have one more September weigh in. I originally thought I had lost 7 pounds so far this month, but apparently I am REALLY bad at math. Oh well. At least someone else is doing the actual counting that matters (the lady at the scale each week). So a .4 loss would put me at my goal of 7 pounds. And I know that my weigh in will be Oct. 1st this week, but the progress will have been from last week. At least, that's how I measure things.

26.4 feels even better!

I hit 26.4 pounds today! Woo hoo! I have lost a total of 7.4 pounds this month and my goal was 7,  so I am awesome (plus, there is still a week left in the month, ha ha)!!

Another friend joined tonight, which is exciting! I'm really proud of her already and now we have a group of three at the meetings. It helps when you have friends to support, in my opinion. Now we can all gossip about what we eat all day (wow, it makes us sound so exciting).

8.6 until I hit my first "big" goal, aka 35 pounds. I haven't quite decided what I'm even going to do for my 25 pound reward, but I suspect an Old Navy sweater may be in the cards.

In other exciting clothes news, Holly and I are going shopping for the skirt fabric for my wedding this weekend. She isn't going to build the actual skirt until we get closer to the wedding, because I will have probably dropped a couple of sizes by then. But the fabric is the first step, so we're going out to the burbs this weekend to visit quilt stores. Hooray!

I didn't exercise today...but I'm feeling okay about that. I will be lifting weights and walking tomorrow and Dan and I always take long walks over the weekend. Aileen is brilliant in saying that any progress is GOOD progress, so I am trying to live more by that motto and less by the challenge oriented weight loss. 

Man. I feel good.

Just a little exercise update...

For the month of September, I've exercised on 13 out of 22 days so far. I've also done 6 days of weight training. I have gotten a bit faster and I'm also sweating more by the end of each workout. It feels good.

This week alone I've done 4 days of exercise and been able to really stay on point. I feel like it will be a good week on the scale, but who know? At this point I am just happy to be making progress each week.

Speaking of progress, my goal for October will simply be to work out more days than I have in September. 

Maintain is the word.

I stayed in the exact same place at WI this week, which actually made me happy. I have felt paranoid that I was going to gain all week. 

The plan for this upcoming week is to do just continue on the yellow brick road. I didn't use any of my anytime points last night, which I normally do after a WI. I would like to get in 5 days of exercise this week. I still feel very motivated, but things have been going relatively well and so far there isn't much that I need to change. I do think I learned a lesson about fat content and that even if the points are the same for a piece of cheese and a piece of fruit, I should TRY and pick the fruit. And, I mean I knew that already but I think last week I gave in to small temptations (all within my points for the day, but all with a higher fat content than I've been eating). We also discussed trying not to set ultimatums last night, so clearly if I want the cheese I am not going to deprive myself. Cheese is good, man. If there is one thing I've learned from my best friend Annie, it's that cheese is good. Annie, I hope you're reading this right now.

Maximum Power.

This week has been going okay. It has definitely not been my best week, but it's not my worst either. I have exercised on Thursday, Friday, Sunday, and Monday, which is really good for my first week of trying to be back on track. I'm heading out to do laundry now and then I will be taking my 30 minute walk before I head to Pulaski for Professional Development Training. 

I used all of my anytime points this week, which I haven't done in a while. I wouldn't say that I necessarily needed them so much as that I found myself really wanting to use them. We'll see how it goes. With the exercise upped this week it may balance out and lead to a weight loss, but it may also just lead to a week of maintaining. Hopefully I won't gain, but I was a little shocked by my bigger weight loss last week and I tend to "balance out" the week after a bigger weight loss. When I say balance out I mean that if I lose over 2 pounds one week than I typically lose under 2 pounds the second week. And as it is supposed to be abnormal to lose over 2 pounds anyway (or to lose less than .5 each week too). So.

It would be nice to hit the 25 pound mark, but I don't think it will be happening this week. Maybe next week, though. 

Let's set some dates...

I've been thinking a lot about "progress" dates for this year and next. What I mean by that is that there are several holidays and events coming up that I want to use also as moments to really stop and look at what I've lost and feel accomplished. I haven't set weight goals for them yet, but as they come I'm sure I will be able to focus on what my needs for each one will be. They cover almost exactly one year. I haven't been able to think of any goal dates between February and July, though. I could set valentine's day, st. patrick's day and easter, but they seem sort of silly to me. Ah well.

Oct. 9 - Disney Drip!
Nov. 27 - Thanksgiving!
Dec. 25 - Christmas!
Jan. 9 - ITP Opening!
Aug. 1 - My birthday!
Aug. 16 - 4th show Opening!
Oct. 10 - Bernadette and Remy's Wedding!

23.2 feels good.

Back to very specific exercise tracking (for my own benefit, sorry readers, I know it's boring).

9.1 - 45 minute walk
9.5 - 45 minute walk
9.6 - 45 minute walk
9.9 - 30 minute weight training
9.11 - 30 minute walk, 20 minute weight training

9.12 - 30 minute walk in the RAIN

9.14 - 30 minute walk, 20 minute weight training

9.15 - 45 minute walk

9.16 - 30 minute walk, 30 minute weight training

9.19 - 20 minute walk, 20 minute walk

9.20 - 40 minute walk

9.21 - 45 minute walk, 30 minute weights

9.22 - 30 minute walk

9.25 - 30 minute walk

9.26 - 30 minute walk, 30 minute weights

9.28 - 40 minute walk

9.29 - 30 minute weights

9.30 - 30 minute walk

smack down!

Last night after laundry I started my weight training regiment. I focused primarily on my arms, abs, thighs, and butt. I also did a lot of stretching, as I've been feeling a little tense lately. I've found that I enjoy doing this type of exercise while watching tv and since we have a lot of space it works out pretty well.

Dan and I are going for a 30 minute walk tonight after my Weight Watchers meeting, as has become a customary part of my weight loss journey. Tomorrow morning I will be going back to my 6am walk with the dogs, as I am finally feeling clear headed, well rested, and not sick. Back to 30 minutes, I say! Huzzah!

Perspective

So here is the revised plan. Aileen, you are amazing.

1. I'm going back to 30 minutes until I feel comfortable increasing the time.
2. I'm going to set my goal at 30x26 (or at one day off per week).
3. I'm going back to the early morning walk, because I know I have time everyday to commit.

Regardless, the weight lifting plan remains the same for this month, with my lovely man Dan as my partner. Wee!

Reset Button?

So the 45x30 challenge has been a disaster thus far. Since it started I have only exercised three of the nine days. I missed 2 days due to rain, 3 days due to feeling sick, and 1 day due to lack of sleep. Right now I see two options at my feet:

1. Start over! Tomorrow is the 10th, so I could make the challenge 45x20.

2. Admit that 45 minutes still seems like a lot of exercise to me. Go back to the 30x30 challenge until I feel really comfortable adding in the extra minutes.

3. Change the challenge rules to allow myself one day off a week.

Advice would be appreciated. I by no means am giving up on exercise, but I do want to create a new plan that works for me.

I've been really wanting to continue exercising in the morning, as once I am awake I find it really easy. I do get a little nervous being out so early in the dark alone, though. Aileen, do you have any suggestions as to how to get over this ridiculous fear?

Anyway, I've been on point for eating this week and have only used half of my anytime points. This weekend I had a much easier time not snacking, for whatever reason. I've been switching back and forth at work between eating lean cuisines and bringing a wrap. I've also been trying hard to meet all my healthy guidelines, so I've been eating a banana with my breakfast, putting lots of romaine and spinach on my wraps, and having at least one vegetable with dinner. I like to snack on fruit during the day, but only if it is really fresh and in season which is hard to find in the city, even at the farmers markets (in my opinion). I think I was spoiled growing up in Minnesota where apple farms and berry farms were always so close to our house. Sad.

In terms of progress, my jeans are really loose on my thighs and butt now. A couple of my tighter shirts no longer hug my stomach. And my newer red skirt (that I am in love with) slides down my hips now. I think I will see even more progress once I am able to get back on track with exercise, but for now I feel pretty good.

Theatre Chairs

Dan and I went to see Torch Song Trilogy this afternoon. It was good, but it was three hours long and the chairs were SO UNCOMFORTABLE. As a result, my neck and shoulders are killing me. It was nice to see Evan and Ryan, though. Ryan always makes me cry onstage and today was no exception. He is a very powerful performer. The women in the show were also pretty incredible and I'd be interested to see them read for our future shows.

Dan and I did 45 minute walks on Friday and Saturday. No exercise today, though. I was going to walk after the show, but the chairs dashed all hopes of that. I have taken three advil, drank a large amount of caffeine, and even put icy hot on it to no avail. I should have gone to a chiropractor when I first hurt my back, but I had to be impatient about it (as I am about most things). oh well. I guess you reap what you sow. I am going to do a long day of exercise tomorrow (since it is my day off) to make up for it and then get back to my AM walks on Tuesday. Hooray.

We went out to eat with Ryan and Yolanda last night, which was delightful. It was nice to be out leisurely with friends. We've been so busy with Blackbird stuff that we haven't really had time to just be with anybody in a while. And it was pretty easy to eat well too. I had a spicy black bean burger and a plain salad. It's nice to have so much support from friends. I also have to give props to Yolanda for her sweet Obama shirt. Obama 08, indeed.

So I don't mention it enough, but Dan is quite amazing, brilliant, and supportive. It's already been very exciting to work on Into the Pool with him and we're only in the preliminary stages. I also feel very good that we'll be at rehearsals together (with Ryan, Yolanda, and Holly too) because we'll be able to help each other eat healthy. I was already talking to Holly about how I plan on bringing fruit to all of the workshops so that there is a healthy snack for everybody and we've been talking about how we could meet before workshops to go for long walks or to get a healthy dinner. The cool thing is that the five of us could all meet to walk, or to dine, or whatever. We'll have to form some sort of theatre health club.

But back to Dan Jackson. I blog about him a lot on my semi private blog (that exactly 4 people read) and I figure that the majority of the people reading this right now have probably met him. But I have to give him props. No matter what crazy scheme I have in mind, he is always right there beside me. He walks in the park with me every time I'm not feeling the motivation. He cooks healthy meals for us, takes me out to healthy restaurants, and looks the other way when I sneak healthy food into the movie theatre. He keeps me in balance. If it wasn't for Dan, I would probably be out every night spending my money on scarves or alcohol. But he also is almost always willing to go do whatever ridiculous thing I *HAVE* to do on the weekends. And when he isn't in the mood, he never makes me feel guilty about going out without him. He's good to all my friends. In fact, he is going with me and friends next weekend to the Renegade Craft Fair to show support of our friend Holly. He's cool with living in Boystown and hanging out at gay bars. He loves Disney World and various other kitschy attractions. Hell, he is taking me to Disney World in October and has traveled to the Wisconsin Dells with me twice in the last year! Dan is just a very good guy. I feel really lucky. I like to think I keep him in balance, too. It's a good partnership.

I say this because I do feel very lucky to have such balance in my life while I'm in the midst of such a big lifestyle change. Because no matter what anyone says, the way you eat, exercise and choose to take care of your body is a HUGE part of your life every single day. For three and a half years with Damian I had absolutely no support whatsoever. He was a very apathetic person. And even though I'm sure he cared about him, he didn't really care about helping me. That really sucked. So I feel good that I can share and change with someone in my life. It feels good. Although I have to give props to all the other people who are helping me on the journey. You all know who you are. :) And as ridiculous as it is, I have to give props to my boss (who doesn't read this blog, I'm sure). At first it made me laugh that we were both doing weight watchers at the same time, but now it actually has become pretty helpful. It's nice to have another person in the office who is abstaining from the free food.

Have I mentioned that we actually held hands during a company party with cajun food? No joke. My boss grabbed my hand for support while we stared at all the greasy, sweaty food. We had an odd relationship. An odd, odd relationship.