TAGGED

I was tagged by Aileen. I am not sure who even reads this blog (so sorry if you do and I don't tag you), but I am supposed to tag 10 people and then blog about 6 random facts that you may not know about me. And those 10 people - well THEY have to tag 10 people and then do the same. Good grief. I am only tagging 5. Mostly because I am lame and don't have a lot of blogger friends. I think I may stick to Aileen's good idea and still try to keep my random facts within the "weight loss," good health arena.

1. Bernadette

2. Amy

3. Cassie

4. Holly (when you set up your blog)

5. Yolanda (see Holly)

Random Facts:

1. The first time I lost weight I exercised two times a day, seven times a week. At first it was a great weight loss booster, but by the end I think it became unhealthy for me. Regardless, no matter how long it takes me to meet my weight loss goal, I'm not going down that route again.

2. I AM NOT A VEGETARIAN. Dan and I attempted to eat vegan, because we thought it would be a healthy alternative that would help me lose weight. We discovered that a weekly combination of vegan meals and lean meat/dairy meals worked much better. There is not one right way to eat, that's for sure. It IS important to have a diet full of iron, fiber, protein, and vitamins, which we now get from soy products, whole wheat products, spinach and tons of other veggies and fruit (If you are worried about the cost, buy fruits and veggies in season, it is easy to find produce that is under $2 a pound.), yogurt, and the occasional chicken and turkey meat.

3. The first time I lost weight, I lost my sense of self. It is a hard thing to change one hundred percent on the outside, but to still be the same person on the inside. You have to find a way to see yourself differently if you want to be successful. I am working hard to find that balance all the time now. I am hopeful that I'll get there when I reach my goal.

4. Being fat and fashionable is hard work! I'm sure anyone will tell you this. What is hard about it for me is that the style I like to subscribe to would normally be effortless! I used to love going into any store, seeing something on the rack that catches my eye, and just buying it! It was fun that I didn't have to worry about how something would fit, or whether it was fashionable in someone else's eye. I felt like EVERYTHING looked good on me when I was thin. Now I have to constantly work to not only make sure that it is something I like, but that it also actually fits my body and doesn't make me seem too "fat." And granted, when I was thin I by no means had the perfect body. But I had more options.

5. Right now, I would rather have dogs than children. I am at a point in my life right now in which I want what I earn in life to be for us (me and Dan). I want the ability to take on multiple projects and be out late. I want the chance to try everything out there that interests me. I want to go to grad school, I want the ability to quit a job that I don't like and not worry about how I will support my children. It sounds selfish and it may change. But Dan and I have realized that we wouldn't want to raise children in the city, so if we ever have children we have to be ready to settle. So kids, if any, are WELL into the future. We're talking late 30's, early 40's. Because if we do have kids, we're adopting. At least, that's the more preferable choice to us. If we do want to bring a child into our life, we want to help an older child who feasibly has less of a chance to find a good home. There are so many children who need a home - and I can understand why people have their own kids - but I would rather help someone who is already out there. Especially if Roe Vs. Wade ever gets taken away from us - there will be MANY unwanted children in our futures. I'm just saying, that's the reality.

6. I am learning every day more and more that having a fully supportive partner makes all the difference in this world. And not the sort of person that offers support and then whines through it every step of the way. That's not true support, not really. I feel so blessed to be marrying a person who happily takes on whatever healthy life plan I need without one word of complaint. Just support. He not only eats the vegan meals, he prepares them. He suggests we eat out at our neighborhood healthy restaurants. He recognizes that I need the support and gives it fully, without ever making me feel bad for making changes in our lifestyle. And while I support him too, it's in smaller every day ways. I look forward to the day when he needs my full support on something as big as this and I can give it so fully. He amazes me every day.

Ready Prematurely

This week, for whatever reason, I've been having difficulty eating up to my minimum points target. Saturday I had 10 points left at 9pm and I was just not hungry at all. I made myself eat a big baked potato with lots of fixings, but even that still left me 1 point short. And then on Sunday I made sure to snack and eat a big dinner, but after the workshop at 10pm I still was 5 points short. I don't know what's going on. I've also only used 8 of my anytime points this week and I haven't had the urge to use any more than that. I'm not doing anything different, at least I don't think so. The only thing I've added to my diet is probably 2 apples a day...I wonder if the added fiber is keeping my hunger levels low. Hmm. Either way, it's something I want to talk to my leader about. One day wouldn't make me nervous, but two days in a row has me a little concerned.

I've only eaten out twice this week, which I am proud of. Holly and I went to the Chicago Diner on Wednesday. I had the vegan shepherd's pie with SWEET POTATOES on top. Oh man, it was a food orgasm. I also found out that the ingredients for the meat part were just lentils, mushrooms, seitan, and leafy greens. Healthy and oh so yummy! I also had some squash soup, which was one of the best things I've had at the diner. It was really light, because they didn't use any cream or butter. Soooooo good. I also had Subway on Saturday, again with Miss Holly. I had the sweet onion chicken sandwich, which has a pretty low points value. We ate it in the sun on this tiny little patio along a high way. It was pretty ridiculous.

Other than that, Dan and I have been trying to be really good about cooking in all week. When we feel the urge to go out to eat, we go out to the grocery store and customize a meal together. It's fun and we still feel like we've "gone out." We are dorks, but I enjoy it.

I've worked out 3 days this week. I didn't work out on Saturday, but I think that the amount of running around that Holly and I did should account for some sort of good exercise. I also intend on working out today and tomorrow, which will bring my total up to 5 days.

So my wedding is 7 months away (HOLY GOD), and at the rate I've been losing so far (10 pounds a month) I could lose up to 70 additional pounds by then. Of course, I am not going to set my goal that high because it is unrealistic, so if I could lose 40 more I would be glowing. Anyway, whether it is 40 pounds or 70 pounds, there are a lot of changes in clothes sizes in between. So Holly will be making me a wrap skirt for my wedding and we're going to measure it in March. We figure that whether I stay the same or lose another 20 pounds the wrap will help us adjust. I'm so excited.

There are so many good things happening right now that I just want to stop and be thankful for. I am engaged to my best friend. He fully supports everything I do and everything I am (or try to be). I can't say enough how excited we both are to be married. I have been asked a couple times if we're going to wait to get married so we can enjoy the engagement, but our answer is something we are both really clear on...we will enjoy the engagement, sure, but what we really WANT to enjoy is being married. We both really want to be married to each other, so much that we had seriously discussed getting married over Thanksgiving this year. Being engaged is exciting and special and fun, but what I'm more excited about is that I'll be married to Dan very soon. We have been together two and a half years and we'll be married 3 months after our three year anniversary. The wedding planning has been happening fast, but I think it has to when the date is less than a year away. We also both know what we want, which has made it extremely easy.

Other things that I am feeling particularly blessed about: Having AMAZING weight watcher buddies! This is the first time in such a long time that I've felt so supported, motivated, and excited about taking care of myself. I feel encouraged and loved, and what more could a person ask for? It's also been helpful to come home to Dan who is always encouraging us to make healthy choices as a couple, both in what we keep in the house and also where we go out to eat. He hasn't tempted me once and I adore him for it.

I also feel so thankful to have such an amazing cast and crew for Into the Pool. One of our actors last night said something that meant a lot to me; she said that she was extremely excited about the project because she hasn't worked on a show that made her feel proud for a long time. It gave me chills when she said it, as a company member, as the director, and as the fiancee of the playwright. This script makes me feel extremely proud, too. I love that I daydream about the blocking at work and have been feeling so inspired by things I hear through out the day. This show could be really good.

The only thing that could be better is my work situation, but I am always saying that. I know I am building my resume and I know that when I apply to grad school I will be able to say, "This is the professional theatre experience I have gained since college. See, I was working in my field, damnit!" But it is hard to not be making a salary and to have two jobs. I keep thinking that it is just 9 more months and then I will either be getting ready to go back to grad school or finally deciding to just take the 9-5 so I can really focus on theatre at night. That is the big decision that is forever up and coming. I will say that when I sat down to write my curriculum, it came so easily to me. And I feel ready to step back into the classroom, albeit a little scared. I can't imagine how amazing it must be to teach theatre all day through out the school year, to have the option of directing high school students at night, and then to have the summers off to travel or do professional theatre. I am beginning to think it is what I really want, but this school year will really help me make a more informed decision.

This has gone off the diet path. Oh well. It's important to say things when you feel the need to say them.

Wedding Buzz....

Weigh in is tonight and for once I am just completely stumped as to how I "did" this week. I am ridiculously proud of myself regardless of whether I gain weight or lose, because either way I am following the plan. But the week has just been odd so I don't really know what sort of progress I'll make.

I ended up exercising 4 times this week. I didn't sleep very well on Monday night so it was difficult to wake up early on Tuesday and then Tuesday night I had dinner with my Dad so that was out.

I also went out to eat three times this week, but two of them were to celebrate my ENGAGEMENT and the other was a lovely belated birthday/catch up date with Bernadette. So yes, clearly I got engaged this week and if I gain this week from the 1/4 of a margarita I drank to celebrate....who cares? But either way I still have to weigh in...

Friday night I took Dan to Killer Margaritas for our post engagement celebration! I had veggie fajitas and they were delicious. We sat on the upper deck and at first we were the only people up there, so that was really adorable.

On Saturday Dan said we could do whatever I wanted for dinner, so we ended up going to the farmers market and purchasing every good looking vegetable in sight! I made a huge pot of steamed veggies with just a rice pilaf.

On Sunday Bernadette and I went out so I could spill all the details! We went to Ping Pong, so I got the harvest chicken and vegetables with brown rice. I also had a glass of wine and some frozen yogurt, but I was still under my points by the end of the day. I am sweet!

Last night was dinner with my Dad. We went to Ping Pong (he ended up being to afraid of the Chicago Diner, I think). I got Tofu with veggies and cashews and he got the Mango Chicken. It's fun that we're both on weight watchers, because we were discussing what we think the points value of each thing we were eating would be. Dads are so silly.

Being engaged is crazy! I'm not used to getting this much attention at work at all and it is strange how people I barely know want to know every detail! Yikes!

If you want to know "how it happened" just let me know and I will tell you about it. I'm trying really hard to maintain the integrity of my "diet only blog," but clearly if the want is out there, I will blog about it.

Love you all! Hope you've had a good week everybody!

Ears are for losers.

So I am reasonably sure that I have an ear infection. SWEET. It probably has something to do with all the running around in the rain I did last weekend. Man, being reckless sure is fun at the time, but it sucks when you have to actually pay for it.

I stayed home sick from work yesterday. I went to bed late on Wednesday night, but I literally slept until noon on Thursday morning. That may not seem that long for most people, but even on the weekends I am typically up by 9. So.

Exercise was null yesterday, as I couldn't find the strength to be standing up for very long. I took some "severe head congestion" medicine today, so I'm feeling a bit better. Dan and I are going to powerwalk to Hollywood Video tonight (the whole walk takes about 40 minutes). I also hope to lift weights tonight, as I missed it on Thursday.

The diet part of my week has been going well, granted it's day two of this week. There was a party for our wig designer today, of course I couldn't go because I had to "guard the phones." Cody said I could go up after she finished to grab some food. Normally I tend to avoid these types of events for that very reason, but I decided just to go up and see if there was anything possible. It turns out that Meloo ordered vegan food for some of the costume shop girls! I got a tiny amount of vegan paella and a tiny amount of vegan shepard's pie. I also loaded up on grapes. I couldn't finish the paella (the rice was weird, so I just ate the veggies and tofu). I ate the "meat" from the shephard's pie, but I didn't eat the potatoes. It was a good, but I didn't over eat at all. I feel proud of myself. So with the jamba juice I've had this morning, the grapes, and all the veggies in the paella I would say that I'm having a really good day HG wise.

My goal for this weekend is simply to get some exercise in on Saturday and Sunday and to control my snack cravings. It is okay if I snack, as long as I CONTROL myself. Dan is planning to take me on a picnic on Saturday and he will be exercising with me as well. I love my lovely boyfriend.

smack down!

Last night after laundry I started my weight training regiment. I focused primarily on my arms, abs, thighs, and butt. I also did a lot of stretching, as I've been feeling a little tense lately. I've found that I enjoy doing this type of exercise while watching tv and since we have a lot of space it works out pretty well.

Dan and I are going for a 30 minute walk tonight after my Weight Watchers meeting, as has become a customary part of my weight loss journey. Tomorrow morning I will be going back to my 6am walk with the dogs, as I am finally feeling clear headed, well rested, and not sick. Back to 30 minutes, I say! Huzzah!

Theatre Chairs

Dan and I went to see Torch Song Trilogy this afternoon. It was good, but it was three hours long and the chairs were SO UNCOMFORTABLE. As a result, my neck and shoulders are killing me. It was nice to see Evan and Ryan, though. Ryan always makes me cry onstage and today was no exception. He is a very powerful performer. The women in the show were also pretty incredible and I'd be interested to see them read for our future shows.

Dan and I did 45 minute walks on Friday and Saturday. No exercise today, though. I was going to walk after the show, but the chairs dashed all hopes of that. I have taken three advil, drank a large amount of caffeine, and even put icy hot on it to no avail. I should have gone to a chiropractor when I first hurt my back, but I had to be impatient about it (as I am about most things). oh well. I guess you reap what you sow. I am going to do a long day of exercise tomorrow (since it is my day off) to make up for it and then get back to my AM walks on Tuesday. Hooray.

We went out to eat with Ryan and Yolanda last night, which was delightful. It was nice to be out leisurely with friends. We've been so busy with Blackbird stuff that we haven't really had time to just be with anybody in a while. And it was pretty easy to eat well too. I had a spicy black bean burger and a plain salad. It's nice to have so much support from friends. I also have to give props to Yolanda for her sweet Obama shirt. Obama 08, indeed.

So I don't mention it enough, but Dan is quite amazing, brilliant, and supportive. It's already been very exciting to work on Into the Pool with him and we're only in the preliminary stages. I also feel very good that we'll be at rehearsals together (with Ryan, Yolanda, and Holly too) because we'll be able to help each other eat healthy. I was already talking to Holly about how I plan on bringing fruit to all of the workshops so that there is a healthy snack for everybody and we've been talking about how we could meet before workshops to go for long walks or to get a healthy dinner. The cool thing is that the five of us could all meet to walk, or to dine, or whatever. We'll have to form some sort of theatre health club.

But back to Dan Jackson. I blog about him a lot on my semi private blog (that exactly 4 people read) and I figure that the majority of the people reading this right now have probably met him. But I have to give him props. No matter what crazy scheme I have in mind, he is always right there beside me. He walks in the park with me every time I'm not feeling the motivation. He cooks healthy meals for us, takes me out to healthy restaurants, and looks the other way when I sneak healthy food into the movie theatre. He keeps me in balance. If it wasn't for Dan, I would probably be out every night spending my money on scarves or alcohol. But he also is almost always willing to go do whatever ridiculous thing I *HAVE* to do on the weekends. And when he isn't in the mood, he never makes me feel guilty about going out without him. He's good to all my friends. In fact, he is going with me and friends next weekend to the Renegade Craft Fair to show support of our friend Holly. He's cool with living in Boystown and hanging out at gay bars. He loves Disney World and various other kitschy attractions. Hell, he is taking me to Disney World in October and has traveled to the Wisconsin Dells with me twice in the last year! Dan is just a very good guy. I feel really lucky. I like to think I keep him in balance, too. It's a good partnership.

I say this because I do feel very lucky to have such balance in my life while I'm in the midst of such a big lifestyle change. Because no matter what anyone says, the way you eat, exercise and choose to take care of your body is a HUGE part of your life every single day. For three and a half years with Damian I had absolutely no support whatsoever. He was a very apathetic person. And even though I'm sure he cared about him, he didn't really care about helping me. That really sucked. So I feel good that I can share and change with someone in my life. It feels good. Although I have to give props to all the other people who are helping me on the journey. You all know who you are. :) And as ridiculous as it is, I have to give props to my boss (who doesn't read this blog, I'm sure). At first it made me laugh that we were both doing weight watchers at the same time, but now it actually has become pretty helpful. It's nice to have another person in the office who is abstaining from the free food.

Have I mentioned that we actually held hands during a company party with cajun food? No joke. My boss grabbed my hand for support while we stared at all the greasy, sweaty food. We had an odd relationship. An odd, odd relationship.