a response to my last blog

So I made a perfectly good plan two weeks ago. We all know how it goes when you make plans...

Listen. I did really good the Thursday, Friday and Saturday before Christmas. I counted points, I exercised on Friday. I took it seriously.

Sunday and Monday were okay. I had small breakfasts and no lunch so that I could be prepared for whatever my guests wanted to eat for dinner. We also did some serious walking on Monday, which helped I'm sure. But both Sunday and Monday nights I gorged myself on pizza, mozzerella sticks and chicken fingers. Granted, it all tasted amazing and I didn't regret it at all. It was just way off the diet scale, so to speak.

Tuesday - Saturday were, well days off from the diet. When I could make a good choice I did, but for the most part I ate whatever I wanted. And it was fun, but by the end of it I felt tired, bloated and generally unhappy with myself. I did less than perfect, I did pretty bad.

but oh well. I said it'd be okay to go a little crazy. I went a lot crazy, but at least I know how to get back on the plan. Saturday I exercised for 30 minutes. Yesterday I stayed well within my points range and I also exercised for a full hour. It felt really good.

So I have been back on for a little over a day and already my head feels clearer and my pants feel a little less tight. I am in love with my wii fit. It is something that I can do whenever I want to, like tonight after rehearsal, for example.

Life is happy. I've got goals, man.

Inspi(red)

I lost 2.2 pounds this week, which brings me to a grand total of 41.6! Woo hoo! I wanted to be over 40 by Christmas, so check that off my goal list baby!

I talked to Peter after the meeting, because the topic was the holidays and I feel like I'm in a pickle. Here's the situation... I've got dear friends in town for two days, so lots of eating out. And that is directly followed by three days of holiday parties (one at the mother in law's house, one at the father in law's house, and one at my Dads). And since we are staying with each of these people, we are having three meals a day with them. So that's five days of questionable eating situations.

So Peter listened and then said the following, "Life happens. This is a lifestyle change, not a diet. Make smart choices, but honestly, if I were you I'd make it a goal to work out every day this week. It will help you clear your head and you'll earn activity points. That way if you want to celebrate and eat what is provided, you don't have to feel as bad about it."

I started today with a 30 minute walk on my lunch break. I took the stairs up to the garden conservatory and back down, then I took the stairs up to the Winter Wonderland Festival and back down. And when I got back to the office I took the five flights of stairs up to my floor. And I felt good and it's helped me consume much less chocolate than I would have today (we received five big boxes of Hershey's). I'm also planning on lifting weights tonight before bed, going for a walk after rehearsal tomorrow, and lifting weights Sunday morning. Then on Monday Annie, Nick and I will be doing a lot of walking anyway. Tuesday will be hard as it's our travel day, but I will make an effort to take the dogs for a long walk. Then Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I just need to escape our families houses to take the dogs for a 30 minute walk each day. And boom! End of the holidays and lots of exercise. Even if I eat poorly, it will help even out my bad choices. I like Peter.

Upon which I fall down and embarrass myself publicly.

Let's be clear here. I am rarely embarrassed in public. And I do a lot of stupid things. All the time. Things that I'm sure embarrass Dan. Things that I KNOW embarrass my family. But I am pretty confident in who I am and I don't care what people think.

So here is the scene. I am at the corner of Clark and Diversy, which is a highly traversed area of town. I am out marketing. I think I will be sly and run through the stalled traffic to put up a flyer at Jamba Juice. So I am speed walking. Not running, just hustling. And all the sudden I fall - FACE FORWARD into the street. Like, where the cars are rolling. Not in the walking intersection. In the jay walking portion of the road, people. And instead of landing flat on my face, I put out ONE KNEE. Not two, one. You know, so the impact will be greater. The impact is so great, so jarring I guess you could say, that I let myself fall all the way forward. And then I feel the urge to vomit hit. And I am scared of vomiting in public. So I lay on my stomach. On the ground. In the road. In front of the bus stop. Which had about 12 people standing at it. Not to mention all the cars that are now stalled in traffic because I am LAYING IN THE ROAD. 

After about thirty seconds a nice looking man walks over to see if I'm okay, because I'm not moving. And I get up on my own, suppressing the urge to cry and vomit. And then I find my marketing buddies and I suppress the urge to cry. They however, god bless them, do not suppress the urge to let alcohol solve all my problems.

So my knee is swollen, bruised and my pride has taken a plunge. Such is life.

On the plus side I lost 1.2 pounds at Weight Watchers last week, which puts me at 39.4 pounds. I am very close to 40 now and it feels so good. I really wanted to be there before Christmas so that I could use it as motivation. And so far it is working. I have been eating really well and getting in more exercise. Friday night Dan and I went walking all over town marketing, Saturday I spent the entire day shopping (it counts) and today I got in some weight lifting and some walking before I fell over and hurt myself. Sigh.

Tomorrow I need to make it the bank, grocery shopping, I need to pick up the last costume piece, and I also want to do some serious marketing. I hope that my knee allows these plans to happen. It's also the plan to market on Wednesday, so that's another day of exercise. I want to start trying to take a 30 minute walk over my lunch break when I'm at CST, but that's easier said than done when your boss is crazy. 

I can't believe that Christmas is coming so quickly. We're going to Zoo Lights Friday, Annie is coming in  Sunday, we're taking her to Christkindlemart next Monday, and then we're driving home next Tuesday! I mean, a lot of rehearsal falls in there, and I think a Blackbird meeting too. So it will go even faster than I expect it to. 

I still sort of feel like I'm going to throw up. I've never had falling down do that to me before. I want to go to sleep but I've been having a hard time falling asleep lately. I think a part of it is excitement every night after rehearsal. And maybe a little nerves too. I have to get it under control. It's starting to get bad, running on so little sleep.

Let's get down and dirty.

So I haven't blogged in a while - mostly because I've been a bit down in the dumps. I haven't been off my diet by any means, but I've been having a little trouble. The main factors getting in my way are lack of time and poor planning on my part. But I can fix that. And damn, I am going to try. 

Because I want to lose 50 pounds by the end of the show. And I want to lose 75 pounds by my wedding. Not impossible. Even if I gained a little this week (the weigh in is on Thursday) - it'll be a goal of losing between 12 to 15 pounds in 7 weeks. And a goal of losing 25 more pounds over 4 months. See? Totally possible. Both goals would have me losing less than 10 pounds a month. Doable. I repeat. Doable.

So how am I going to help myself? First, PLANNING! I need to plan out every second of my life right now, because I am fucking busy! That's okay too, I just need to recognize it for what it is and move forward.

1. I only have time to work out 4 days a week at this point. And that's okay. So on Mondays, Wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays I need to go for a 30 minute walk. And on three of those days I also need to lift weights. Simple. Easy. DONE.

2. I need to start planning what my meals will be on the nights or weekends when I have rehearsal, especially if I'm running from one place to the other. Eating at Subway is fine most of the time, but I need to have snacks in my bag so I'm not tempted by evil Charmers baked goods and things of that nature.

3. I need to start planning how I'm going to handle winter break... because we'll be in Ohio from Tuesday night to Saturday morning and I will not be preparing the food that I eat over that whole weekend. Dan and I will be talking about this, because I think he'll be able to help me figure out a game plan.

4. Once the show opens, I'll be working at Chicago Shakes full time again until February and I will effectively lose my time on Mondays and Wednesdays to work out. So the week before this happens I need to start thinking about what sort of activity I will be adding in on those days... a work out after work on Mondays and Wednesdays? Sounds possible, I suppose.

That's all for now. Planning is all I really need. I'm busy and I need to be prepared. So that's what I'm going to do. 

Sigh. Sounds easier than it will be, I'm sure.

back in the saddle

I can't remember if I blogged about it or not, but I lost 1.4 pounds the week before Thanksgiving. And this week I maintained, which I am both shocked and surprised over. Having the flu probably helped, seeing as how I stuffed my face over the holidays. Suffice it to say I'm going to be planning better for Christmas. You better believe it!

Break.

I've taken a leave of absence from exercise this past week. Thursday was just too busy and I was too exhausted from Thursday on Friday. Dan and I did manage to get in 4o minutes on Saturday, but Sunday I just didn't feel like it and Monday I didn't either. I got my period today, so I guess it makes sense as to why my body seemed to be rebelling against any form of movement. I've also just been feeling really out of it, which hasn't been helping my exercise motivation. But I've been eating really well every day, so I still pat myself on the back for hard work well done. It has been easy for me in the past to say, if I'm not exercising than I may as well pig out, but this week I was able to conquer that. Go me! And I also feel like I've lost weight this week, although we'll see with my period in town. He often throws off the numbers at the scales.

Thanksgiving shouldn't be too bad for my diet. I will have tomorrow morning to exercise and transit days are easy to track points. And Dan and I plan to walk every day that we're in Ohio, because it's good for me and it will get us out in the fresh air instead of laying on couches eating cookies. :)

I am so excited to go home! I can't wait to see everyone and to talk about wedding things.

10% Holla!

At my weigh in last night I lost 5.2 pounds, which puts me at a total loss of 36.8! That is some total rock star shit (thanks Dan). 

I definitely got a little too excited after our public reading of Into the Pool and inhaled 3 pieces of pizza, which left me with only 6 anytime points for the week. But whatever, I can do it! I feel good and I am starting to really feel like this is in my grasp. The next goal number is 50 pounds, which I would like to reach by around the opening of the show. Totally doable, as that is about 7 weeks away (and I would need to lose 13.2 pounds). Let's get on it, shall we?

Lately it seems too cold to exercise, whether indoors or out. But tonight Dan and I plan to hang up teasers around our neighborhood. So whether the weather is cold...

coffee solves all the worlds problems

So I've worked out 13 out of 17 days this month. Hooray for progress.

Is anyone else bitterly cold at night? Our heaters really suck so our apartment is just seeming more and more frigid every day. It is not fun at all. Granted, we still have an air conditioner in the window that needs to be removed. We need to get on that. And a space heater from the Altruists that could be moved upstairs. Last night I laid in bed shivering for an hour before I decided to take a warm bath and just get over it.

We had a productive production meeting last night (ha ha). Our reading is coming up this Thursday. I am excited and nervous about it. I hope we actually have an audience. After the meeting Ryan, Lara, Jillian and I went to Side Tracks for Musical Theatre Monday. I also invited Tony from the Altruists to meet us there. It was the first time I have gone out for drinks in a while (aka not fixed them myself) so there was a lot more bacardi in my drink than I was expecting. I had 5 points left over from the day too, so I got very drunk very fast. That is the nice thing about being on a diet; it doesn't take much! Anyway, I definitely sang Suddenly Seymour at the top of my lungs to the delight of the bartender who was laughing at me.

I am so ready to decorate my apartment for Christmas! I've already pulled out a Christmasy table setting, two Christmas plates, my one Christmas stuffed animal, and my boots from Christkindlmart. The rest of the stuff is in storage, which requires someone to help me move it (because I'm afraid of our storage area). I just want our tiny shiny trees to don our coffee table. It's ridiculous, I know.

This week has been going well. I want to keep this up!

Oui Madam!

I gained 2 pounds this week. Which I am okay with. I went out to eat twice this week (I was asked to go out, which i think is different than just going out) and both times I ordered the AMAZING chicken curry. I have been worried that I haven't been counting it correctly. Now I am pretty sure that I haven't been. :( Also, while I managed to get in four days of exercise last week, two of them were pretty lame attempts.

I am back on my game plan and I feel really good! My goal is to lose 3.6 pounds over the next two weeks so that I have reached 35 pounds by Thanksgiving. I think it is totally doable. My strategy this week is to not use my anytime points, to count out everything, to stick to my eating plan, and to be serious about exercise. Last night Dan and I took a 40 minute walk and today we are doing a 50 minute walk after dinner and then I'll also be doing my weight lifting before bed. Touche!

Yesterday went really well. I didn't use any extra points but I also felt full by the end of the night! Huzzah! I never want to believe it, but when I get in my 5 servings of fruits and vegetables during the day I do feel fuller by the end of the night. I guess it's just science. I have been having fruit with breakfast, a fruit and veggie with lunch, and loads of veggies with dinner every night. I think other than the mean chicken curry I probably did pretty well last week in terms of the healthy guidelines.

For Thanksgiving Jan is making me a lean green bean casserole, a low fat stuffing, and a low fat pumpkin/cheese cake pie. She is also making baked sweet potatoes w/out butter or brown sugar, low fat squash soup and turkey, so I think I will be in for a relatively easy Thanksgiving Day. The real trouble comes at my soon to be inlaws houses...Dan's step mom has a plan to cook us a feast in celebration of our engagement! I may ask if I can "help cook" and maybe even suggest that we start with a salad or soup. Hey, I'm allowed to do that, right? And at Dan's mom's house it should be pretty easy, as she is usually keeping an eye on her weight. Again, I may ask if I can help cook or even just flat out ask if she could do a low fat dinner.

I made our Christmas shopping list for this year and have already started to knock out some of the men in our families. We decided that all our men are getting threadless shirts, so that makes life much easier. I've already chosen a bunch of designs for everybody, so now it's just up to me and Dan to pick who will get what. Easy peasy.

I feel accomplished in other areas in my life right now as well. I found us a great designer for the postcards for our show and was able to get them ordered in time for us to have them for the reading. I've nailed out a simple program for our reading, created a button image and got all that stuff ready for Katy, and I also created teasers for the show and got them all printed up and ready to go. Sometimes it seems like I have too much on my plate, but I also really enjoy taking on these projects and seeing them all the way through. We've managed to collect 10 boxes of books for the show, too. I'm also trying to start thinking ahead as to what we'll want to be focusing on next - like finding designers IMMEDIATELY for our fourth show and beginning the search for our fifth show space. I also have to say that I love the direction our company is headed. I feel like we have a solid group of people who are focused, positive, excited, and working really hard. No more negative energy. Hooray!

Wedding planning is also going really well. I completed a checklist for my family so we know what we need to do. My Dad apparently said, "Wow, she's really got this organized." Jan said she's going to look at it and see if I'm missing anything, which was the goal of the list to begin with. And right away Dan said, "you forgot to put purchase wedding bands." So we are all thinking on our feet, which is important. I can't wait to discuss everything over Thanksgiving. I feel bad for my brothers and sister, ha ha.

Plans are Good.

I have gone to the weight watchers website to pick up some much needed inspiration. And one of the biggest things it said was to have a general plan for what you eat each week. If you go off it, fine. But at least have an idea of what each day will bring.

It also said to boost fitness, which is something I've been wanting to do anyway. And there is a "buff brides fitness challenge" that I am considering starting up. You're supposed to start it 3 months before your wedding, but I was thinking it couldn't hurt to begin now...

Anyway, here is my food plan. It's boring reading material, and I apologize.

Breakfast:
Arnold's sandwich thins
Peanut Butter
Banana

Lunch:
Monday/Wednesday:
Boca Chilli and Brown Rice
Dulce de Leche Pudding
Apple

Tuesday/Thursday/Friday:
Arnold's Sandwich Thins
Meat of some variety
Cheese of some variety
Dressing of some variety
Greens of some variety

Campbells Healthy Harvest Soup
Weight Watchers Yogurt
Apple

Snack Options:
Carrots and Hummus
Fiber One Granola Bar
Chex Mix Granola Bar
Mr. Salty Chocolate Covered Pretzels
Popped Chips

Dinner Options:
Mandarin Chicken, Brown Rice, Veggies
Meatless Chicken Nuggets, Baked Potato or fries, Veggies
Wheat Pasta w/ zucchini, squash, broccoli and cauliflower
Chicken Burgers w/ spinach and feta, fries or potatoes, veggies
"Meat"balls, potato gravy, veggies

Dessert Options:
weight watcher ice cream
skinny cow ice cream
Hungry Girl brownies w/ cool whip
Apples and peanut butter

And the all new exercise plan:

Mondays & Wednesdays: 30 minutes of weight lifting in the afternoon
Fridays: 30 minutes of weight lifting in the morning
Tuesdays & Thursdays: 45 minutes of power walking in the morning
Saturdays, Sundays - 45 minutes of power walking in the afternoon

Slowly Rolling...

Motivation is slowly but surely picking back up. Partly because I'd like to fit into new pants by Thanksgiving and partly because I'd like to be heathier in time for my wedding.

Exercising in the cold is hard. I don't know how I found the inspiration to walk every day in Minnesota, which is much colder than Chicago. Actually, that's a lie. I used to walk every night either with little Becky, Annie, my Mom or my brother. We actually "hung out" by exercising. We'd talk about our lives, what was bothering us and what we were currently enjoying. I had not one, but several walking buddies. I think it really made a difference back then.

The trouble now is that we all live just far enough away from each other to make group exercise sort of a pain. We'd have to meet at a central location, we'd have to plan time that works for everybody, or we'd have to be willing to take turns traveling to each other's neighborhoods. This sounds easy in theory, but difficult in practice.

I feel like it is normal to have exercise and dieting ebbs and flows, the goal being to get back on track over time. As I continue forward with this diet, I am beginning to notice that the more I have a daily or weekly plan, the better I do. My breakfast and lunch plan for the week has become pretty stable, and Dan and I have 5 dinner recipes that we both really like. It's just the damn exercise. Even when I plan for it in my day, it never quite happens when I think it will. A part of it is my cold apartment. It's hard to wake up and get out of a warm bed when the air in the apartment is so freezing.

So I resolve to keep at it the best that I can and right now if that means working out at night, then so be it. I'll have to change it up once rehearsals start, but I will at least have Monday and Wednesday afternoons before class. So really it's just Tuesdays that will be affected. Just one day that I will have to plan for early morning exercise, and yet it scares me to no end...

I also have trouble working out on Thursday nights lately, which I attribute to The Office and 30 Rock. I think I just need to start doing weights on Thursday nights. That's the only probable solution, because it is hard to talk myself out of watching good television. Especially when every other day of the week there is such BAD television.

I'd like to kick my exercise up a notch, but I haven't determined yet how to do this. I already feel like I don't have enough time for it in my day, so how do I add even more activity? I could go back up to 45 minute walks, which I think my body could definitely handle. I could also follow my 30 minutes of weight lifting with some version of yoga or light aerobics. Things to think about. Suggestions will always be taken seriously. :)

I ate all my any time points this week and for some reason feel like I'm going to gain this week. Even though Holly says I look smaller today. It's getting harder for me to tell the difference. Fitting in the Thanksgiving jeans would be a good step in the right direction.

Save your money for your children!

I am finally starting to feel back to normal since Tuesday. It certainly took long enough!

At weigh in last night I lost 1.4 pounds, which puts me at 33.2. My 35 pound goal is so close now I can smell it. It would be nice to hit it by Thanksgiving, so I could focus on other things before Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, I've started to put together a "shopping list" of sorts for presents and things. We're tight on money this year, so we're really having to plan ahead. Not fun at all, but it's just the way it is sometimes. With the wedding coming, and the show, and all the trips we are planning over the next year...yah. It's just better to plan ahead. Seriously though. Listen to this nonsense.

November: Ohio (flying)
December: Ohio (driving)
May: Ohio (driving)
June: Minnesota (driving)
June: North Carolina (flying)
June: New York (flying)
October: Ohio (flying)
November: Ohio (don't know yet...)
November/December: Honeymoon somewhere...(flying)
December: Ohio (don't know yet..)
February: Tropical Island??? (definitely flying)

Holy Moly.

I feel hung over today. It's absurd. I think 7 hours at the Obama rally should count as my exercise for the week. I blogged about last night's experience in my other blog. If you want to read it, I can send you the link. 

What I want to say in this blog is simply that I have the strangest feeling today. I am hung over and happy...exhausted and elated. It's incredible.

The goal for today is to get hydrated and to not fall over in class. I'm going out to dinner tonight with co-workers, so Dan and I will be walking back and forth to the restaurant and that's all the exercise I'm going for today. I am looking forward to a large beer and some chicken curry at Oscar Wilde's. 

I had a good week in terms of exercise and tracking. If I gain tomorrow, it will be due to my dehydration today and my sodium laden celebration tonight. But who cares. It is a brand new Obama filled day and I want to soak it up! That being said, I'm saving points for dinner. Because it's all about the plan, right? It's all about the plan. :)

I need a nap before work. 

Early Morning Weather Report

I have begun to feel the motivation for eating perfectly on spot slip just a little bit. I think I need to switch back to Maggie at some point, because I guess that Peter just isn't doing it for me. 

That isn't to say that I haven't been counting my points, because I have been. And it isn't to say that I've been overeating, because I haven't been. I just feel a little less in control of my snacking habits right now, which has been leaving me less points at night for dinner. And having less points at night for dinner makes me dip into my anytime points, which has been something that I've been careful about doing (even though they are there for you to eat and still lose weight, I know, I know). So it's been a strange and new situation. I'm waiting to see what the difference is on the scale. Since I have been losing weight so fast every other week, I'm wondering if it's my body just genuinely needing more food - because again, the anytime points are supposed to be eaten if you want them. Every other time I enter my weight loss on the weight watchers site I get a friendly reminder that I am losing weight too fast and need to see a doctor. Yayyy! So again, maybe this need to snack more and use some of my anytime points is my body saying that it's hungry and I'm going too fast. We'll try the "listen to your body" theory this week and see what it does to the scale.

Because at the end of the day, if I'm not eating because I'm hungry then I'm eating because there is some other emotion going on. Like stress, anxiety, sadness, boredom, etc. I guess I have been feeling stressed since my doctor's appointment last week. Much more stressed than I've been in a long time. And really, two weeks ago at Weight Watchers when Peter said that dessert shouldn't be a reward, "because that's using food to celebrate, which is wrong" - that also set off something off in me that I wasn't expecting. It really pissed me off, actually. Because I think if you are able to save some of your points for the end of the day, then you should get a calculated dessert! And be proud of yourself for 1. saving those points and 2. choosing a healthier dessert! So for whatever reason I was PISSED when Peter said that. Man. I do need to switch back to Maggie. She may drive me crazy, but she never pisses me off.

Last night I had the hardest time falling asleep. I just had too many weird things running through my head. And now a list of creepy things that did not help me fall asleep:

1. A rat has found his way into our apartment. He comes through a hole in the foundation and up through where the gas pipes go out behind the stove. He is a relatively new visitor, so we have been taking corrective measures already. But I'm scared of seeing him in the kitchen when I'm here alone, or of finding him alive in a trap.

2. We watched this stupid paranormal show yesterday where this girl was possessed and if it really was "reality," then it was the scariest thing I've ever seen. If it was fake, then it was dumb. But she had claw marks all up and down her back - like the kind a rat could give you if it made it up onto your bed...

3. On our walk last night Dan and I heard what sounded like a woman either being kidnapped, raped, or hit by a car. Three other people heard it too (both in apartment buildings and both on opposite sides of the street) and came running outside to see what had happened. It sounded like the woman was screaming bloody murder. We called the cops, but we couldn't find anything up or down the street. It was just about a block away from our apartment, yay!

4. When I took the dogs out for their last potty break, there was a cop with a flashlight checking inside garbage cans and under cars. He could have been looking for anything, but seeing as how he was a block away from where we heard a woman screaming, I think he was either looking for body parts or the murder weapon.

So yeah. All those things combined equaled me having trouble sleeping. And daylights savings woke me up bright and early! I'm going to use this time to clean the bathroom, go for my walk, and go grocery shopping. 

November Exercise Chart

November 1 - 15 minute walk, 15 minute walk, 30 minute weights

November 2 - 30 minute walk

November 3 - 40 minute walk

November 4 - 7 hours at the Obama Rally - that's exercise, right?

November 5 - 10 minute walk, 10 minute walk (shut up, it counts. I was tired).

November 6 - NADA

November 7 - 30 minutes

November 8 - 15 minute walk, 25 minute weights

November 9 - 30 minute walk

November 10 - 30 minute walk

November 11 - NADA

November 12 - NADA

November 13 - 40 minute walk

November 14 - 30 minute weights

November 15 - 15 minute walk, 20 minute walk

November 16 - NADA

November 17 - 30 minute weights

November 18 - NADA

November 19 - 30 minute weights, 30 minute walk

November 20 - NADA

Novemer 21 - NADA

November 22 - 40 minute walk

November 23 - NADA

November 24 - NADA

Halloween = unsafe work environment

I lost 1 pound last week, for a total of 32.2! Woo hoo!

I am overly happy about this, because I normally maintain or even gain on period weeks. So to lose a pound feels like a HUGE deal.

I didn't exercise yesterday morning because I couldn't get myself out of bed, which is typical of the days that I work long hours. And I didn't exercise last night because I had to watch Survivor, the Office, and 30 Rock. Oh the return of good television. How you taunt me so! Normally I am able to do weight lifting while watching tv, but I have found that this power is only active when the show I'm watching is a rerun. Strange how things like that work.

I probably won't get any exercise tonight, as we are going to the Halloween Parade and Maria's Halloween Party. But I like to think that I'll probably be staggering around drunk all night, which takes a lot of stamina. Stamina = exercise? Right?

Also, there is a big bowl of fun size candy at reception. And it will probably be there all day long. I brought treats in my purse to fortify myself with. But my workspace is often close to "unsafe" environments. Like free food for all! Right next to my desk! All day long! Wee! I don't know how Jennie manages to stay so skinny. I would have issues if it were right on my desk all day. At least I have to move 5 feet if I want something. That takes a lot of effort when every move is guilt ladden.

Wah Wah Wah Waaaah...

Got my period yesterday afternoon. During class. Fun stuff. I had already been feeling pretty sick to my stomach all morning, so by the end of the day I was inconsolable. Ridiculous.

Despite said sickness, Dan suggested that we go for our walk anyway, just at a slower pace. That way I could still get in the exercise even though I wasn't feeling well. So we walked at a normal rate and it was fine. My legs were crampy and my stomach was jumpy, but I did it.

Pretty soon here I will need to either step up the pace or add minutes to my walk. I still feel good when it's over, but I'm not nearly as sweaty anymore. The rate I'm at just isn't a challenge to me now. Which is a good thing, but it also means I need to find another way to kick start exercise. I have gotten better about making time for it every day over the past week, and I'm proud of that. Now I just need to walk faster, damnit!

Progress...it's not just for the election.

I've worked out 16 days in October out of 27. I could make it a solid 20 days if I work out today through Friday. So that's gonna be my goal.

Also, the edu dept went through 386 bottles of water over a one month period during our CPS rehearsal process. 386. How many of those did I consume? Zero. I bring my own bottle and refill it at work, folks. That's just how I roll.

One of the ladies I work with just came up to me and said, "I hear you're dropping (and then she spelled) L-B-S." And I said, "Excuse me?" And she spelled, "L-B-S." And I said, "I don't know what that means." And then she said, "Weight. Pounds." And I said, "Oh. Yes. Yes I am." And then I turned back to my desk.

This is the second time in a week that this person has come up to me to tell me stuff they've heard about me. And both times were in equally strange manners. The first one she just came up and said, "So it's true." And I said, "What's true?" And she said, "What I've heard about your hand." And I said, "What did you hear about my hand?" And she said, "That you have a ring on your finger." And I said, "Oh yes. I got engaged." And she said, "Yeah. That's what I heard from someone else." And thus this request is made for all bloggers to read. I don't respond well when people play strange spelling or guessing games when the answer has to do with my life. If you want to hear it from me, then ask!

Strange Days.

For whatever reason I am having a rough one.

Friday night I was feeling congested, so I opted out of exercise. Dan brought me home some good movies and we had a "cuddle on the couch" fest.

Dan and I went for a 30 minute walk on Saturday, which was much needed. We also had a very good dinner party with friends. I made whole wheat pasta with veggies in a tomato sauce. There was also a light salad and Ryan brought bruschetta. And I made low cal margaritas, which are pretty much the best invention of all time. We drank 3/4 a bottle of tequila in about 3 hours. I used all my anytime points between Friday and Saturday, ha ha.

Sunday was pretty low key, because we were both hung over. Dan got up really early, but I slept in late. By the time I was up, Dan was heading back to bed for a nap. So he slept all day and I overdosed on bad television. I did manage to get in 30 minutes of weight training though, because I am awesome.

Monday was just a bad day from the start. I had a doctor's appointment and they saw me an hour and a half later than scheduled. And then while I was in his office his phone rang. He picked up and told me it would just be a second. Twenty minutes later I had sat through him talking this guy down from commiting suicide. Not fun. Not fun at all. I mean, I'm glad he took the call but I wish he would have asked me to leave the room or something. I then proceeded to wait 45 minutes just to be able to drop off my meds and I have to go back to pick them up tomorrow. Overall it was shit-tastic.

I decided to go to the Diner for lunch, because I wanted to sit somewhere that wasn't my house to calm down and collect myself before class. I knew that if I went home I would probably start to cry and have a hard time leaving. So I had a new lunch item at the restaurant which was good, but when I calculated my points after I realized I only left myself 7 points for dinner. Woops.

Class was a little better, although they created a new way to do snack time which was not only obnoxious but wasted at least 20 minutes of class time. We finally got to the puppet making lesson today, which was something they've been waiting to do. But two of my students were really disrespectful and I yelled at them in front of the whole class. I've been letting them get away with speaking their minds quite loudly the past three weeks and I guess today was not the day to test me. Anyway, it worked out in my favor because they apologized to me and told me that they didn't want to get kicked out of the class. The only bummer was that I forgot the Halloween treat I wanted to bring everybody and we didn't have enough time at the end of the day for them to get playground time. Oh well. It happens.

Dan was amazing last night and went on my 30 minute walk with me immediately when I got home. So that was really nice. I made myself some boca chilli because it was in my points range and ended the day much better than how it had started. Dan also offered to do the same thing tonight, to walk with me immediately, which I took him up on. I also have to do weights tonight, but I normally do that just before bed.

So I'm hoping that the rest of the week goes much better. I haven't eaten all 35 anytime points in a while, but it hopefully shouldn't be a problem on the scale. I will have gotten in 5 days worth of exercise by my next meeting. That's much more than I did last week.

Big Roller

I am on a metaphorical roll.

I lost 4.2 pounds this week, bringing the weight loss number to a grand total 0f 31.2. I like it when I not only hit a "5 pound marker," but then surpass it by a little bit too. It leaves a little less work to do on my way to the next check point.

My 30 pound reward is a big haircut. The last time I got my haircut was at checkpoint 15. I have something very specific in mind, which is exciting. There is a hairdo that I really WANT for my wedding, but I'm not sure how it will work with my facial features. So I'm going to bring the photos to the hair dresser and see what they think of it for me. And I'm also going to get the haircut so I can also see whether or not I like it. It's very 1950's, which is where my wedding style is headed (cardigan sweater, big skirt, little Cami, feather headband). Here is a photo. Clearly I will not be doing the pink part, but otherwise it is what I want (the hair, the cardigan, the undershirt).

So 3.8 pounds to go and I hit my first BIG GOAL. That is pretty exciting to me. I am more and more leaning for the reward of a hunt for the Wii fit, as I need an exercise boost in my life. It's funny how I can manage to stay on point every week, but that my exercise fluctuates so much. I want to remedy that, but I need help. And I'm not ready for a gym membership, as I don't have a schedule that would afford for trips to the gym. So home workouts are a go (and of course outdoor ones too).

I celebrated last night at the diner with Holly. I got the lentil loaf, as it is the greatest thing known to man. It is basically a "meat" loaf made from tofu, lentils, and hearty veggies with mashed potatoes and veggie gravy on top. It's very hearty and pretty low fat. I'm stoked that they added it to their menu permanently, because I was sad that it was only an occasional special item.

I also had a big vegan chocolate chip cookie - they use regular sugar, but whole wheat flour, a fake egg substitute, and carob chips. It is a huge cookie of delicious happiness. It costs many points, but is sooooo worth it.

The new exercise plan begins today (see yesterday's post for more details). I am excited to begin, as I'm starting to feel anxious about not using my limbs vigorously every day. My legs were really achy the day after my playground romp and I want to be back to the point where I feel tiny aches the day after a workout.

It will bring me back up to seven work outs per week, which was what I was doing in August. And frankly, I felt really good about that. And none of what I'm planning will be difficult to fit into my schedule, in fact I am trying hard to work around said schedule. And I'm also staying at 30 minutes for the most part, until it feels appropriate to move the time up. I'd rather spread out my workouts than just do an hour three times a week, though.

When I hit 50 pounds I'm probably going to do a progress photo. I don't have a "before" full body shot persay, but there are plenty of "gross" photos of me that I hate, but that would show progress pretty nicely.

I'd like to hit 50 pounds by January 1st. That gives me 2 months and 1 week. I think it's doable.

Back to work. I'll update on exercise progress later.

I am a Sea Monster.

So exercise has been difficult since I got back from Disney. Last Friday Dan and I went for a 40 minute walk and then on Saturday we went for an hour walk. But that's all she wrote, folks.

Sunday there was just too much going on in prep for the workshop. Monday I was having a very hard personal day and I was also very busy with Blackbird stuff. I have been trying to wake up at 6:15 now to work out in the morning, but have discovered every morning that it is A. Too Dark for me to want to get up and B. Too cold for me to want to get up. So that killed exercise on Tuesday for me and this morning, too.

I need to figure something out that works for me, folks. It needs to work within my schedule and it needs to work with the cold early morning hours AND it needs to work with the eventual reherasals I'll be having three nights a week. So here is what I'm going to try...

On Mondays and Wednesdays I have the morning off from work. So sometime between 9am and 12pm I need to muster up the courage to go outside when it's cold and walk for 30 minutes.

On Saturdays and Sundays there is plenty of time when I am not busy - but would rather be curled up on the couch doing nothing. I can find time in between weekend craziness to walk for 30 minutes, especially since Dan is willing to go with me on the weekends.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays I work a full day - and starting in Dec. I will have rehearsal every Tuesday night. I also have been going to Weight Watchers on Thursdays after work. So on these days I need to wake up early and lift weights in the house. It will be less chilly than the early AM jaunt outside and it will be lighter in the house too. So there.

And finally - on Fridays I can just stick with what I'm doing now! Dan and I have made quite a lovely habit of walking to Hollywood Video and back every Friday night. It takes 20 minutes each way (and we keep the pace up by power walking) plus it helps us save money on the weekends!

Okay. I like this plan. It varies what I'm doing during the weekdays, but it does so in order to work with my schedule. I am normally the kind of person that likes to have the same plan for every day, but clearly life is busy and I can't have everything I want all the time.

And now - onto the title of this blog. To keep discipline in my classroom, my students can "earn" minutes for the playground (which I can constantly threaten to take away if they are being bad). Wednesday's class had a Halloween theme and they wanted to take it with them on the playground too. So they deemed me the "sea monster." The blue area of the playground floor was my swamp and the playground was the boat. And if they got off the boat into the swamp, then I could chase them. At first I was hesitant to be the monster, mostly because I haven't done a lot of running since last fall (when I taught the sports and rec class) and I could barely keep up with the kids then. But they wanted me to be the monster (and I wanted to do it too), so I agreed to play along with the thought that I could always tag a kid and make them the monster when I got tired. So I started to run all around the playground, chasing kids and tickling them. The kids got a huge kick out of it, they would all jump down and taunt me and then run away screaming as I would roar and give chase. And, to my surprise, for the full fifteen minutes I didn't get winded! I ran all up and down the playground, screaming, jumping, picking up kids and throwing them in the air...and it felt really good! I was a little sweaty by the end of it, but I could breathe easily and I probably could have played a little longer!

And so I say this. Even when I have a hard week of exercise or a hard week of eating, I have lost almost 30 pounds and I FEEL HEALTHIER. My body is lighter and my muscles are starting to take shape. The only cravings I get now are for big bowls of vegetables, a honey crisp apple, or maybe a baked potato. I am walking at a faster pace and I am less hungry through out the day. By no means have I perfected my diet and I know I will have more slip ups as I continue forward, but I am past the starting point now and well into the journey. And things are looking different for me. I like that.

TAGGED

I was tagged by Aileen. I am not sure who even reads this blog (so sorry if you do and I don't tag you), but I am supposed to tag 10 people and then blog about 6 random facts that you may not know about me. And those 10 people - well THEY have to tag 10 people and then do the same. Good grief. I am only tagging 5. Mostly because I am lame and don't have a lot of blogger friends. I think I may stick to Aileen's good idea and still try to keep my random facts within the "weight loss," good health arena.

1. Bernadette

2. Amy

3. Cassie

4. Holly (when you set up your blog)

5. Yolanda (see Holly)

Random Facts:

1. The first time I lost weight I exercised two times a day, seven times a week. At first it was a great weight loss booster, but by the end I think it became unhealthy for me. Regardless, no matter how long it takes me to meet my weight loss goal, I'm not going down that route again.

2. I AM NOT A VEGETARIAN. Dan and I attempted to eat vegan, because we thought it would be a healthy alternative that would help me lose weight. We discovered that a weekly combination of vegan meals and lean meat/dairy meals worked much better. There is not one right way to eat, that's for sure. It IS important to have a diet full of iron, fiber, protein, and vitamins, which we now get from soy products, whole wheat products, spinach and tons of other veggies and fruit (If you are worried about the cost, buy fruits and veggies in season, it is easy to find produce that is under $2 a pound.), yogurt, and the occasional chicken and turkey meat.

3. The first time I lost weight, I lost my sense of self. It is a hard thing to change one hundred percent on the outside, but to still be the same person on the inside. You have to find a way to see yourself differently if you want to be successful. I am working hard to find that balance all the time now. I am hopeful that I'll get there when I reach my goal.

4. Being fat and fashionable is hard work! I'm sure anyone will tell you this. What is hard about it for me is that the style I like to subscribe to would normally be effortless! I used to love going into any store, seeing something on the rack that catches my eye, and just buying it! It was fun that I didn't have to worry about how something would fit, or whether it was fashionable in someone else's eye. I felt like EVERYTHING looked good on me when I was thin. Now I have to constantly work to not only make sure that it is something I like, but that it also actually fits my body and doesn't make me seem too "fat." And granted, when I was thin I by no means had the perfect body. But I had more options.

5. Right now, I would rather have dogs than children. I am at a point in my life right now in which I want what I earn in life to be for us (me and Dan). I want the ability to take on multiple projects and be out late. I want the chance to try everything out there that interests me. I want to go to grad school, I want the ability to quit a job that I don't like and not worry about how I will support my children. It sounds selfish and it may change. But Dan and I have realized that we wouldn't want to raise children in the city, so if we ever have children we have to be ready to settle. So kids, if any, are WELL into the future. We're talking late 30's, early 40's. Because if we do have kids, we're adopting. At least, that's the more preferable choice to us. If we do want to bring a child into our life, we want to help an older child who feasibly has less of a chance to find a good home. There are so many children who need a home - and I can understand why people have their own kids - but I would rather help someone who is already out there. Especially if Roe Vs. Wade ever gets taken away from us - there will be MANY unwanted children in our futures. I'm just saying, that's the reality.

6. I am learning every day more and more that having a fully supportive partner makes all the difference in this world. And not the sort of person that offers support and then whines through it every step of the way. That's not true support, not really. I feel so blessed to be marrying a person who happily takes on whatever healthy life plan I need without one word of complaint. Just support. He not only eats the vegan meals, he prepares them. He suggests we eat out at our neighborhood healthy restaurants. He recognizes that I need the support and gives it fully, without ever making me feel bad for making changes in our lifestyle. And while I support him too, it's in smaller every day ways. I look forward to the day when he needs my full support on something as big as this and I can give it so fully. He amazes me every day.

Disney Gain...

After a week in Disney, my weight went up 2.6, which puts my total weight loss at 27 pounds. At first I felt upset about it, but ultimately since I've been home I've been following the plan perfectly and I know I can get right back on track. So oh well.

I'm baaaa-ck.

I'm exhausted. Disney World is a trip, man. Here is the lowdown.

It is extremely (EXTREMELY) difficult to diet when you are in Walt Disney World. There just aren't very many healthy options (and even the healthy stuff comes pre-made aka drenched in dressing).

I did really well on Thursday and Tuesday, as those were my "in transit" days and much easier to control. So hooray for that, I suppose.

I will say that Disney World is an excellent place to get in your exercise. We were either standing in line or walking for at least 5 hours a day. Every day Dan and I would literally collapse from leg exhaustion. We were also extremely sweaty all day long (yum). So I do think that a good portion of the crap I ate I probably immediately sweated out. At least I HOPE so. P.S. All the parks are SO GOOD for walking! I can never get over how every section of each park feels so completely different from the last. And such good people watching - man alive!

Some things I think I did really well - I had granola bars for breakfast every day. So at least there was one meal that I knew I was in control of. On Friday afternoon I had hummus and lamb for lunch, on Saturday I had a burger w/ apple slices instead of fries and on Sunday I had a salad for lunch. I did have ice cream every day that we were there, but I stuck to things on sticks (and one sugar free butter pecan delicasy in a cone). I also had just a corn dog for lunch on Monday (I wanted one so bad)! If there were greasy things I wanted as bite of, then Dan would order them and I would get exactly one bite! So that was pretty good.

Dinner times were harder. Friday night I had a small steak w/ a baked potato, but I also had mucho alcohol (and we shared a brownie sundae). Saturday night I ordered a salad for dinner, but we also ordered some amazing cuban appitizers (you tell me that you could pass up fried mashed potatoes - because I don't believe you) and of course mucho drinking! Sunday night I had pasta w/ red sauce, but also MUCHO MUCHO drinking. And Monday night for dinner I had chicken w/ broccoli and white rice, but I also consumed a pound of reeses pieces at the movies (couldn't resist). P.S. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist was pretty good in a modern John Hughes way. Dan loved it, aww.

So I feel proud of myself that I didn't eat everything in sight, but other than that there were moments when I felt bloated, or didn't even really like my food, but was too drunk to stop myself. I forgot how much drunkeness has a hand in my bad choices (I really haven't had that much to drink in a long time).

But what I REALLY feel proud of is the fact that my diet was never far from my mind. I wrote down every bad thing that I ate, bothered Dan endlessly about how much walking he thought we had done each day, and by Monday I was craving fruits and vegetables. The strangest thing is that the majority of the food I ate I chose by default, but in reality I was a little sad that I couldn't make better choices - because I wanted to! Granted - that was not my mind set while I was drinking my pomengrate cur or chowing down on ice cream, but I wanted better real food options! So that's progress, right?

Last night at the grocery store the produce smelled so good! I actually completed my shopping, looked in the cart, and realized I had forgotten all my sweet tooth snacks for the week. Everything I had was high in fiber, or a lean meat, or fruit, or veggies, or dairy. And it was all I had even looked at in the store! So that's progress too.

I'm going to weigh in tomorrow night, even though I know that I probably gained on my trip. I figure that it's better to know the damage so I can work extra hard to fix it. I was so close to 30 damnit, but I suppose either way I get my 16 week award. I have made a commitment to myself and to my diet - and life happens! Sometimes you are just in Disney World for a week and you have to eat a corn dog. It's science.

For the record, I absolutely love Disney World and would go back again in a heart beat. But maybe next time I will stay at a hotel with a kitchen in my room, so I can prepare my own food. That would be better, I think.

So close...

I lost 3.8 pounds this week, so I have now lost a total of 29.6 pounds. Woo hoo! This means that, as long as I REASONABLY control myself at Disney, I may have a good chance of hitting 30 pounds next week. We plan on going for long walks every morning at the parks, plus we'll be doing a lot of walking all day anyway. AND we're bringing granola bars and fiber one pastries for breakfast and for snacks to eat throughout the day. So as long as I don't choose the super fried gooey entrees for lunch and dinner, I'm hoping to do pretty well. Either way, lose or gain, I'll still be at my 16 week celebration next week! And I'm going to be in Disney for FIVE WHOLE DAYS! FIVE DAYS AWAY FROM WORK! OH MY GOD, WE LEAVE TOMORROW!

I work from 3-5pm today and then tomorrow from 9-1pm and then BAM! Dan and I will be on our way to Disney World.

Here is our Disney Magic plan...

Friday morning we are going to start at Epcot, so we can make dinner reservations. We're going to spend either the whole day there, or split our day in half and spend the afternoon at MGM. But either way we want to be back at Epcot for dinner on Friday night.

Saturday morning we're going to the Animal Kingdom. Saturday afternoon we'll head over to Downtown Disney to do Disney Quest, Cirque Du Soleil, and then we're going clubbing at Pleasure Island (dancing and drinking all night long)!!!

Sunday morning we're going to start at MGM, so we can make dinner reservations. Then we'll either spend the whole day at MGM or again split our day between MGM and Epcot. Then back to MGM for dinner!

Finally we're going to spend all day Monday at the Magic Kingdom! YAYY!

It's that time of year

I am leaving for my first day of teaching in about 10 minutes. I am excited, eager, nervous, scared, etc etc etc. It's so lame but, I hope the children like me!

My first interview this week went exceptionally well. I like the area, I love the space, the mission is provocative, and I really like the woman I interviewed with. I think it would be such a good fit for me. Now begins the dreaded waiting process... she mentioned a second interview, so now I have to see if she calls me back in this week (and before Disney, at that).

I have my second interview for the week tomorrow afternoon. I'm not as excited about it yet, however it will be more money and benefits so I will take it if I can get it. I am hoping that I get one of the two jobs, so either way I can move on. Eek. It better happen.

I was hoping to exercise this afternoon before class, but with the interview, getting the stuff ready in my car, preparing the Blackbird agenda, and sending in my weekly submission I just didn't have the time. Oh well. I may try to lift weights after the meeting if I still feel the need to work out.

Also, we haven't gone grocery shopping yet this week. Which was fine today...and we'll be out of town Thursday through Tuesday, but we are out of foods that we normally eat throughout the week. So now I'm feeling a little stumped as to what to do in terms of things that are perishable. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what Dan thinks when he gets home.

Wish me luck!

October Exercise Chart

I gotta start tracking my exercise today! In addition to the two 15 minute walks I've gotten in today, I'm also going for a 40 minute walk with Dan tonight. Wee! I'm strong!

October 1 - NADA
October 2 - 30 minute walk w/ Ryan
October 3 - 15 minute walk, 15 minute walk, 40 minute walk

October 4 - 30 minute weights

October 5 - 30 minute walk

October 6 - NADA

October 7 - 30 minute weights

October 8 - NADA

October 9 - NADA

October 10 - 1 hour walk

October 11 - 1 hour walk

October 12 - 1 hour walk

October 13 - 1 hour walk

October 14 - 30 minutes weights

October 15 - NADA

October 16 - NADA

October 17 - 40 minute walk

October 18 - 1 hour walk

October 19 - NADA

October 20 - NADA

October 21 - NADA

October 22 - 15 minute "run around the playground," 1 hour intense cleaning (it counts)

October 23 - NADA

October 24 - NADA

October 25 - 30 Walk

October 26 - 30 Minute Weights

October 27 - 30 minute walk

October 28 - 30 minute Weights

October 29 - 40 minute walk

October 30 - NADA

October 31 - NADA

I hate my Period, I eat Pizza

So I felt like I had almost a perfect week. I ate fruits and veggies every day, I made smart choices, and I only used 12 of my 35 anytime points. I also got in a pretty decent amount of exercise on 4 days. AND I was really able to start feeling where I had lost weight this weekend. There was a point on Saturday when I looked in the mirror and could see all these tiny changes that are starting to have an effect.

But Tuesday night I ate sea salt soaked edamame, which I've done the day before a weigh in and been perfectly fine! But I guess it's not smart to suck down a lot of sodium the day before your PERIOD and then jump on a scale and expect to see happiness.

I only gained .6, which is NOT BAD. But I had SUCH a good week. And I felt really bloated in the morning when I woke up, which is the worst feeling ever on a weigh in day. Sigh. Maggie said that weight gain during your period is not a myth and that if affects everyone differently, even a guy at the meeting chimed in and said his wife always gains the week of her period (his wife would have been THRILLED if she'd been in the room). So I'm not going to beat myself up about it. But I was already having a super bad day at work and I was crabby and tired, so it didn't help matters.

To top it off, Dan had a horrible day at work and was also in a bad mood when he got home. It was no good. We've both been craving Dominoes pizza for weeks, so we decided to pull out the old Dining Out Companion to see what kind of damage it'd do. It turns out that 1 slice of pepperoni pizza is 6 points, and I had 19 points left, so we ordered a medium pizza immediately. And I think it genuinely did make us both feel better, which is a little ridiculous. I also gave Dan a really long back rub, which I think much have helped him too. Anyway, I was still hungry after the pizza, so I used 10 of this week's anytime points. The depressing thing is that even after I ate the 10 I was still hungry (and not in the, "I'm stuffed but I still want to eat way. My stomach still had room in it). But I stopped at 10 and I feel good about that.

But this morning I had a grease stomach ache, which I haven't had in almost three months now. So that was a little depressing. I don't regret eating the pizza though, I had the points for it and I didn't go overboard (and I certainly could have). Plus I am of the mindset that you shouldn't deprive yourself when you have been craving something and pizza has been on the brain for the longest time.

So I had a Jamba Juice this morning so that I could fill up on some good fiber and I have both a reasonable lunch and dinner packed for myself, along with some snacks (I'm staying late to see Edward for the second time). I'm also going to take a 30 minute walk on the pier after work today, since I wasn't in the mood this morning. Cold weather totally sucks.

I think my goal for this week will be to exercise every day since I have Disney coming in 1 week! The goal will also be to try hard to not use the rest of my anytime points (I still have 25, but I want to try and ignore them). And just in general to really try and get in at least 4 servings of fruits or veggies every day this week. I want to have a good week before Disney, so I can try to use that motivation towards not blowing the whole week while I'm dancing with Minnie Mouse.

The cool thing is that the week I get back from Disney will be my "16 week" celebration! 16 weeks from the week you sign up they give you a little gift to remind you that you've made a big commitment to yourself. I think it's good that the week I receive mine will be the day after the trip. If I can keep in mind that I'm getting a reward for being awesome when I get home, maybe that will help me choose lite drinks and pasta with tomato sauce instead of all the unhealthy "Goofy" side dishes. Man. I wish they really called them Goofy Side Dishes. That would make everything taste better.

God MUST be a man...

Sorry to any gents that read this blog.

I have gotten my period on a Wednesday every month since I started Weight Watchers. NOT FAIR. I always feel the most bloated and disgusting on the first day of my period. It totally sucks. And I also know that the potential for progress on the scale is pretty much gone, as I'm carrying around any salt I've had within the last 48 hours. Stupid period. Ruining my weigh in day once a month. I HATE YOU.

Champion

So here is my exercise "progress" in September:

I went for five 45 minute walks.
I went for three 40 minute walks.
I went for eight 30 minute walks.
I lifted weights seven times.

In other words, I exercised 23 times in September! Granted, sometimes it was twice a day, but I still feel really good about that number. I'd like to see if go up in October, though. Hopefully it will.

I also have lost 6.6 pounds in September, however I still technically have one more September weigh in. I originally thought I had lost 7 pounds so far this month, but apparently I am REALLY bad at math. Oh well. At least someone else is doing the actual counting that matters (the lady at the scale each week). So a .4 loss would put me at my goal of 7 pounds. And I know that my weigh in will be Oct. 1st this week, but the progress will have been from last week. At least, that's how I measure things.

EDIT

It is raining out. I don't want to exercise in the rain. The last time I did it, I got sick later that week. So. I will just be doing weights tonight. Which is still good, just not as good. But I don't want to work out in the rain unless there is NO OTHER CHOICE.

Ready Prematurely

This week, for whatever reason, I've been having difficulty eating up to my minimum points target. Saturday I had 10 points left at 9pm and I was just not hungry at all. I made myself eat a big baked potato with lots of fixings, but even that still left me 1 point short. And then on Sunday I made sure to snack and eat a big dinner, but after the workshop at 10pm I still was 5 points short. I don't know what's going on. I've also only used 8 of my anytime points this week and I haven't had the urge to use any more than that. I'm not doing anything different, at least I don't think so. The only thing I've added to my diet is probably 2 apples a day...I wonder if the added fiber is keeping my hunger levels low. Hmm. Either way, it's something I want to talk to my leader about. One day wouldn't make me nervous, but two days in a row has me a little concerned.

I've only eaten out twice this week, which I am proud of. Holly and I went to the Chicago Diner on Wednesday. I had the vegan shepherd's pie with SWEET POTATOES on top. Oh man, it was a food orgasm. I also found out that the ingredients for the meat part were just lentils, mushrooms, seitan, and leafy greens. Healthy and oh so yummy! I also had some squash soup, which was one of the best things I've had at the diner. It was really light, because they didn't use any cream or butter. Soooooo good. I also had Subway on Saturday, again with Miss Holly. I had the sweet onion chicken sandwich, which has a pretty low points value. We ate it in the sun on this tiny little patio along a high way. It was pretty ridiculous.

Other than that, Dan and I have been trying to be really good about cooking in all week. When we feel the urge to go out to eat, we go out to the grocery store and customize a meal together. It's fun and we still feel like we've "gone out." We are dorks, but I enjoy it.

I've worked out 3 days this week. I didn't work out on Saturday, but I think that the amount of running around that Holly and I did should account for some sort of good exercise. I also intend on working out today and tomorrow, which will bring my total up to 5 days.

So my wedding is 7 months away (HOLY GOD), and at the rate I've been losing so far (10 pounds a month) I could lose up to 70 additional pounds by then. Of course, I am not going to set my goal that high because it is unrealistic, so if I could lose 40 more I would be glowing. Anyway, whether it is 40 pounds or 70 pounds, there are a lot of changes in clothes sizes in between. So Holly will be making me a wrap skirt for my wedding and we're going to measure it in March. We figure that whether I stay the same or lose another 20 pounds the wrap will help us adjust. I'm so excited.

There are so many good things happening right now that I just want to stop and be thankful for. I am engaged to my best friend. He fully supports everything I do and everything I am (or try to be). I can't say enough how excited we both are to be married. I have been asked a couple times if we're going to wait to get married so we can enjoy the engagement, but our answer is something we are both really clear on...we will enjoy the engagement, sure, but what we really WANT to enjoy is being married. We both really want to be married to each other, so much that we had seriously discussed getting married over Thanksgiving this year. Being engaged is exciting and special and fun, but what I'm more excited about is that I'll be married to Dan very soon. We have been together two and a half years and we'll be married 3 months after our three year anniversary. The wedding planning has been happening fast, but I think it has to when the date is less than a year away. We also both know what we want, which has made it extremely easy.

Other things that I am feeling particularly blessed about: Having AMAZING weight watcher buddies! This is the first time in such a long time that I've felt so supported, motivated, and excited about taking care of myself. I feel encouraged and loved, and what more could a person ask for? It's also been helpful to come home to Dan who is always encouraging us to make healthy choices as a couple, both in what we keep in the house and also where we go out to eat. He hasn't tempted me once and I adore him for it.

I also feel so thankful to have such an amazing cast and crew for Into the Pool. One of our actors last night said something that meant a lot to me; she said that she was extremely excited about the project because she hasn't worked on a show that made her feel proud for a long time. It gave me chills when she said it, as a company member, as the director, and as the fiancee of the playwright. This script makes me feel extremely proud, too. I love that I daydream about the blocking at work and have been feeling so inspired by things I hear through out the day. This show could be really good.

The only thing that could be better is my work situation, but I am always saying that. I know I am building my resume and I know that when I apply to grad school I will be able to say, "This is the professional theatre experience I have gained since college. See, I was working in my field, damnit!" But it is hard to not be making a salary and to have two jobs. I keep thinking that it is just 9 more months and then I will either be getting ready to go back to grad school or finally deciding to just take the 9-5 so I can really focus on theatre at night. That is the big decision that is forever up and coming. I will say that when I sat down to write my curriculum, it came so easily to me. And I feel ready to step back into the classroom, albeit a little scared. I can't imagine how amazing it must be to teach theatre all day through out the school year, to have the option of directing high school students at night, and then to have the summers off to travel or do professional theatre. I am beginning to think it is what I really want, but this school year will really help me make a more informed decision.

This has gone off the diet path. Oh well. It's important to say things when you feel the need to say them.

Engaged and aged.

Got up early and did the 30 minute walk this morning. It felt really good and I noticed at points that I was moving much faster than when I originally started. I'm going to lift weights tonight and then tomorrow I have the day off so I imagine a long walk in store.

Huzzah. I am proud of myself.

26.4 feels even better!

I hit 26.4 pounds today! Woo hoo! I have lost a total of 7.4 pounds this month and my goal was 7,  so I am awesome (plus, there is still a week left in the month, ha ha)!!

Another friend joined tonight, which is exciting! I'm really proud of her already and now we have a group of three at the meetings. It helps when you have friends to support, in my opinion. Now we can all gossip about what we eat all day (wow, it makes us sound so exciting).

8.6 until I hit my first "big" goal, aka 35 pounds. I haven't quite decided what I'm even going to do for my 25 pound reward, but I suspect an Old Navy sweater may be in the cards.

In other exciting clothes news, Holly and I are going shopping for the skirt fabric for my wedding this weekend. She isn't going to build the actual skirt until we get closer to the wedding, because I will have probably dropped a couple of sizes by then. But the fabric is the first step, so we're going out to the burbs this weekend to visit quilt stores. Hooray!

I didn't exercise today...but I'm feeling okay about that. I will be lifting weights and walking tomorrow and Dan and I always take long walks over the weekend. Aileen is brilliant in saying that any progress is GOOD progress, so I am trying to live more by that motto and less by the challenge oriented weight loss. 

Man. I feel good.

Wedding Buzz....

Weigh in is tonight and for once I am just completely stumped as to how I "did" this week. I am ridiculously proud of myself regardless of whether I gain weight or lose, because either way I am following the plan. But the week has just been odd so I don't really know what sort of progress I'll make.

I ended up exercising 4 times this week. I didn't sleep very well on Monday night so it was difficult to wake up early on Tuesday and then Tuesday night I had dinner with my Dad so that was out.

I also went out to eat three times this week, but two of them were to celebrate my ENGAGEMENT and the other was a lovely belated birthday/catch up date with Bernadette. So yes, clearly I got engaged this week and if I gain this week from the 1/4 of a margarita I drank to celebrate....who cares? But either way I still have to weigh in...

Friday night I took Dan to Killer Margaritas for our post engagement celebration! I had veggie fajitas and they were delicious. We sat on the upper deck and at first we were the only people up there, so that was really adorable.

On Saturday Dan said we could do whatever I wanted for dinner, so we ended up going to the farmers market and purchasing every good looking vegetable in sight! I made a huge pot of steamed veggies with just a rice pilaf.

On Sunday Bernadette and I went out so I could spill all the details! We went to Ping Pong, so I got the harvest chicken and vegetables with brown rice. I also had a glass of wine and some frozen yogurt, but I was still under my points by the end of the day. I am sweet!

Last night was dinner with my Dad. We went to Ping Pong (he ended up being to afraid of the Chicago Diner, I think). I got Tofu with veggies and cashews and he got the Mango Chicken. It's fun that we're both on weight watchers, because we were discussing what we think the points value of each thing we were eating would be. Dads are so silly.

Being engaged is crazy! I'm not used to getting this much attention at work at all and it is strange how people I barely know want to know every detail! Yikes!

If you want to know "how it happened" just let me know and I will tell you about it. I'm trying really hard to maintain the integrity of my "diet only blog," but clearly if the want is out there, I will blog about it.

Love you all! Hope you've had a good week everybody!

Just a little exercise update...

For the month of September, I've exercised on 13 out of 22 days so far. I've also done 6 days of weight training. I have gotten a bit faster and I'm also sweating more by the end of each workout. It feels good.

This week alone I've done 4 days of exercise and been able to really stay on point. I feel like it will be a good week on the scale, but who know? At this point I am just happy to be making progress each week.

Speaking of progress, my goal for October will simply be to work out more days than I have in September. 

Ears are for losers.

So I am reasonably sure that I have an ear infection. SWEET. It probably has something to do with all the running around in the rain I did last weekend. Man, being reckless sure is fun at the time, but it sucks when you have to actually pay for it.

I stayed home sick from work yesterday. I went to bed late on Wednesday night, but I literally slept until noon on Thursday morning. That may not seem that long for most people, but even on the weekends I am typically up by 9. So.

Exercise was null yesterday, as I couldn't find the strength to be standing up for very long. I took some "severe head congestion" medicine today, so I'm feeling a bit better. Dan and I are going to powerwalk to Hollywood Video tonight (the whole walk takes about 40 minutes). I also hope to lift weights tonight, as I missed it on Thursday.

The diet part of my week has been going well, granted it's day two of this week. There was a party for our wig designer today, of course I couldn't go because I had to "guard the phones." Cody said I could go up after she finished to grab some food. Normally I tend to avoid these types of events for that very reason, but I decided just to go up and see if there was anything possible. It turns out that Meloo ordered vegan food for some of the costume shop girls! I got a tiny amount of vegan paella and a tiny amount of vegan shepard's pie. I also loaded up on grapes. I couldn't finish the paella (the rice was weird, so I just ate the veggies and tofu). I ate the "meat" from the shephard's pie, but I didn't eat the potatoes. It was a good, but I didn't over eat at all. I feel proud of myself. So with the jamba juice I've had this morning, the grapes, and all the veggies in the paella I would say that I'm having a really good day HG wise.

My goal for this weekend is simply to get some exercise in on Saturday and Sunday and to control my snack cravings. It is okay if I snack, as long as I CONTROL myself. Dan is planning to take me on a picnic on Saturday and he will be exercising with me as well. I love my lovely boyfriend.

Maintain is the word.

I stayed in the exact same place at WI this week, which actually made me happy. I have felt paranoid that I was going to gain all week. 

The plan for this upcoming week is to do just continue on the yellow brick road. I didn't use any of my anytime points last night, which I normally do after a WI. I would like to get in 5 days of exercise this week. I still feel very motivated, but things have been going relatively well and so far there isn't much that I need to change. I do think I learned a lesson about fat content and that even if the points are the same for a piece of cheese and a piece of fruit, I should TRY and pick the fruit. And, I mean I knew that already but I think last week I gave in to small temptations (all within my points for the day, but all with a higher fat content than I've been eating). We also discussed trying not to set ultimatums last night, so clearly if I want the cheese I am not going to deprive myself. Cheese is good, man. If there is one thing I've learned from my best friend Annie, it's that cheese is good. Annie, I hope you're reading this right now.

Maximum Power.

This week has been going okay. It has definitely not been my best week, but it's not my worst either. I have exercised on Thursday, Friday, Sunday, and Monday, which is really good for my first week of trying to be back on track. I'm heading out to do laundry now and then I will be taking my 30 minute walk before I head to Pulaski for Professional Development Training. 

I used all of my anytime points this week, which I haven't done in a while. I wouldn't say that I necessarily needed them so much as that I found myself really wanting to use them. We'll see how it goes. With the exercise upped this week it may balance out and lead to a weight loss, but it may also just lead to a week of maintaining. Hopefully I won't gain, but I was a little shocked by my bigger weight loss last week and I tend to "balance out" the week after a bigger weight loss. When I say balance out I mean that if I lose over 2 pounds one week than I typically lose under 2 pounds the second week. And as it is supposed to be abnormal to lose over 2 pounds anyway (or to lose less than .5 each week too). So.

It would be nice to hit the 25 pound mark, but I don't think it will be happening this week. Maybe next week, though. 

wii mania...

35 pounds is my first "big" goal and I've been thinking a lot about what I'd like to purchase as a reward for this event. I've narrowed it down to a couple options, but the one I keep coming back to is a Wii Fit. There are numerous reasons I am interested, but the biggest one is that this little machine tracks your progress in numerous ways. It can track changes in your BMI, your balance, strength, and general fitness level. One of the biggest reasons I used to love working out on an elliptical was because every day I could see how many strides I was adding to my workout. Seeing the numbers change was a big enough incentive for me to work that much harder. With winter just around the corner, it would be good to have another option for exercise in my apartment. So wii fit may be the answer. I have 12 pounds to go until I'm at the goal, which will probably be in 2 months or so.

I've also learned an important lesson. NEVER GO TO WHOLE FOODS HUNGRY. I can handle most grocery stores when I'm hungry, as I have a lot of self control and there is never anything there that I could potentially be craving enough to purchase. But yesterday I had a progresso bowl of soup for lunch, which I've found is not very satisfying on it's own. And I had lunch at 12:30, so by the time I was in Whole Foods I was ravenous. I went in with the intention of buying vegan cheese and whole wheat pasta. I left with grapes, a big container of mixed fruit, cauliflower, a small piece of chocolate, a vegan cookie, hummus, pita bread, a box of tiny cranberry orange scones, and a wedge of spanish cheese. It was ridiculous. There were several points in which I could clearly see that I was just hungry and didn't need any of the things in my cart, but oh how I WANTED them. Thank God I had used less than half of my points for the day, because I had calories left to sample a scone, the chocolate, and the cheese. But it's strange how even though I knew I could eat them and even had the calories to do it, I still felt guilty afterwards. I swear to you there was a message from God on the chocolate. No joke. I had eaten the scone and a bite of the cheese and had tore open the chocolate with the intent of eating it in one bite (it was a SMALL piece). But written on the chocolate (I am not making this up) were the words, "Slow down, you move too fast." Touche.

P.S - the Vegan Mac and Cheese was SO good! Dan and I have really perfected this recipe. It's not difficult, in fact it takes very little time and effort. Here is how we do it:

1/2 package of Vegan Cheese (it melts!) - 5 points total
Whole Wheat Pasta of any variety - 3 points per cup
1 package of Boca Ground Meat - 1 point total
1/8 cup of soy milk (or low fat milk if you prefer)

Make your pasta the way you like it best. Cut the cheese up into tiny pieces. Once you've drained the pasta, keep the stove on a very low heat and mix in the cheese bits and the milk. It usually takes the cheese at least 5 minutes to melt completely. Prepare your Boca meat however you like (it cooks in the microwave in 1 minute, but you could also do it in the skillet). Mix in the meat and stir for another minute. Enjoy! Makes 2 servings. 6 points total.

Let's set some dates...

I've been thinking a lot about "progress" dates for this year and next. What I mean by that is that there are several holidays and events coming up that I want to use also as moments to really stop and look at what I've lost and feel accomplished. I haven't set weight goals for them yet, but as they come I'm sure I will be able to focus on what my needs for each one will be. They cover almost exactly one year. I haven't been able to think of any goal dates between February and July, though. I could set valentine's day, st. patrick's day and easter, but they seem sort of silly to me. Ah well.

Oct. 9 - Disney Drip!
Nov. 27 - Thanksgiving!
Dec. 25 - Christmas!
Jan. 9 - ITP Opening!
Aug. 1 - My birthday!
Aug. 16 - 4th show Opening!
Oct. 10 - Bernadette and Remy's Wedding!

23.2 feels good.

Back to very specific exercise tracking (for my own benefit, sorry readers, I know it's boring).

9.1 - 45 minute walk
9.5 - 45 minute walk
9.6 - 45 minute walk
9.9 - 30 minute weight training
9.11 - 30 minute walk, 20 minute weight training

9.12 - 30 minute walk in the RAIN

9.14 - 30 minute walk, 20 minute weight training

9.15 - 45 minute walk

9.16 - 30 minute walk, 30 minute weight training

9.19 - 20 minute walk, 20 minute walk

9.20 - 40 minute walk

9.21 - 45 minute walk, 30 minute weights

9.22 - 30 minute walk

9.25 - 30 minute walk

9.26 - 30 minute walk, 30 minute weights

9.28 - 40 minute walk

9.29 - 30 minute weights

9.30 - 30 minute walk

Drunken Glory!

I lost 3.2 pounds this week, bringing my weight loss total to 23.2 pounds! Hooray!

Also, I have 3.8 pounds until I reach my goal for September. Very exciting!

Dan picked me up a spinach, sweet potato and black bean taco from the Chicago Diner for dinner. He also got me a vegan chocolate chip cookie. Nom nom nom, it was delicious and nutritious!

I picked up some Mikes Hard Lite to celebrate. I haven't had a lot of alcohol lately, so I'm definitely feeling buzzed after only 2 Mikes.

My goal for this week is to simply stay on point and work out for 30 minutes every day.

smack down!

Last night after laundry I started my weight training regiment. I focused primarily on my arms, abs, thighs, and butt. I also did a lot of stretching, as I've been feeling a little tense lately. I've found that I enjoy doing this type of exercise while watching tv and since we have a lot of space it works out pretty well.

Dan and I are going for a 30 minute walk tonight after my Weight Watchers meeting, as has become a customary part of my weight loss journey. Tomorrow morning I will be going back to my 6am walk with the dogs, as I am finally feeling clear headed, well rested, and not sick. Back to 30 minutes, I say! Huzzah!

Perspective

So here is the revised plan. Aileen, you are amazing.

1. I'm going back to 30 minutes until I feel comfortable increasing the time.
2. I'm going to set my goal at 30x26 (or at one day off per week).
3. I'm going back to the early morning walk, because I know I have time everyday to commit.

Regardless, the weight lifting plan remains the same for this month, with my lovely man Dan as my partner. Wee!

Reset Button?

So the 45x30 challenge has been a disaster thus far. Since it started I have only exercised three of the nine days. I missed 2 days due to rain, 3 days due to feeling sick, and 1 day due to lack of sleep. Right now I see two options at my feet:

1. Start over! Tomorrow is the 10th, so I could make the challenge 45x20.

2. Admit that 45 minutes still seems like a lot of exercise to me. Go back to the 30x30 challenge until I feel really comfortable adding in the extra minutes.

3. Change the challenge rules to allow myself one day off a week.

Advice would be appreciated. I by no means am giving up on exercise, but I do want to create a new plan that works for me.

I've been really wanting to continue exercising in the morning, as once I am awake I find it really easy. I do get a little nervous being out so early in the dark alone, though. Aileen, do you have any suggestions as to how to get over this ridiculous fear?

Anyway, I've been on point for eating this week and have only used half of my anytime points. This weekend I had a much easier time not snacking, for whatever reason. I've been switching back and forth at work between eating lean cuisines and bringing a wrap. I've also been trying hard to meet all my healthy guidelines, so I've been eating a banana with my breakfast, putting lots of romaine and spinach on my wraps, and having at least one vegetable with dinner. I like to snack on fruit during the day, but only if it is really fresh and in season which is hard to find in the city, even at the farmers markets (in my opinion). I think I was spoiled growing up in Minnesota where apple farms and berry farms were always so close to our house. Sad.

In terms of progress, my jeans are really loose on my thighs and butt now. A couple of my tighter shirts no longer hug my stomach. And my newer red skirt (that I am in love with) slides down my hips now. I think I will see even more progress once I am able to get back on track with exercise, but for now I feel pretty good.

Theatre Chairs

Dan and I went to see Torch Song Trilogy this afternoon. It was good, but it was three hours long and the chairs were SO UNCOMFORTABLE. As a result, my neck and shoulders are killing me. It was nice to see Evan and Ryan, though. Ryan always makes me cry onstage and today was no exception. He is a very powerful performer. The women in the show were also pretty incredible and I'd be interested to see them read for our future shows.

Dan and I did 45 minute walks on Friday and Saturday. No exercise today, though. I was going to walk after the show, but the chairs dashed all hopes of that. I have taken three advil, drank a large amount of caffeine, and even put icy hot on it to no avail. I should have gone to a chiropractor when I first hurt my back, but I had to be impatient about it (as I am about most things). oh well. I guess you reap what you sow. I am going to do a long day of exercise tomorrow (since it is my day off) to make up for it and then get back to my AM walks on Tuesday. Hooray.

We went out to eat with Ryan and Yolanda last night, which was delightful. It was nice to be out leisurely with friends. We've been so busy with Blackbird stuff that we haven't really had time to just be with anybody in a while. And it was pretty easy to eat well too. I had a spicy black bean burger and a plain salad. It's nice to have so much support from friends. I also have to give props to Yolanda for her sweet Obama shirt. Obama 08, indeed.

So I don't mention it enough, but Dan is quite amazing, brilliant, and supportive. It's already been very exciting to work on Into the Pool with him and we're only in the preliminary stages. I also feel very good that we'll be at rehearsals together (with Ryan, Yolanda, and Holly too) because we'll be able to help each other eat healthy. I was already talking to Holly about how I plan on bringing fruit to all of the workshops so that there is a healthy snack for everybody and we've been talking about how we could meet before workshops to go for long walks or to get a healthy dinner. The cool thing is that the five of us could all meet to walk, or to dine, or whatever. We'll have to form some sort of theatre health club.

But back to Dan Jackson. I blog about him a lot on my semi private blog (that exactly 4 people read) and I figure that the majority of the people reading this right now have probably met him. But I have to give him props. No matter what crazy scheme I have in mind, he is always right there beside me. He walks in the park with me every time I'm not feeling the motivation. He cooks healthy meals for us, takes me out to healthy restaurants, and looks the other way when I sneak healthy food into the movie theatre. He keeps me in balance. If it wasn't for Dan, I would probably be out every night spending my money on scarves or alcohol. But he also is almost always willing to go do whatever ridiculous thing I *HAVE* to do on the weekends. And when he isn't in the mood, he never makes me feel guilty about going out without him. He's good to all my friends. In fact, he is going with me and friends next weekend to the Renegade Craft Fair to show support of our friend Holly. He's cool with living in Boystown and hanging out at gay bars. He loves Disney World and various other kitschy attractions. Hell, he is taking me to Disney World in October and has traveled to the Wisconsin Dells with me twice in the last year! Dan is just a very good guy. I feel really lucky. I like to think I keep him in balance, too. It's a good partnership.

I say this because I do feel very lucky to have such balance in my life while I'm in the midst of such a big lifestyle change. Because no matter what anyone says, the way you eat, exercise and choose to take care of your body is a HUGE part of your life every single day. For three and a half years with Damian I had absolutely no support whatsoever. He was a very apathetic person. And even though I'm sure he cared about him, he didn't really care about helping me. That really sucked. So I feel good that I can share and change with someone in my life. It feels good. Although I have to give props to all the other people who are helping me on the journey. You all know who you are. :) And as ridiculous as it is, I have to give props to my boss (who doesn't read this blog, I'm sure). At first it made me laugh that we were both doing weight watchers at the same time, but now it actually has become pretty helpful. It's nice to have another person in the office who is abstaining from the free food.

Have I mentioned that we actually held hands during a company party with cajun food? No joke. My boss grabbed my hand for support while we stared at all the greasy, sweaty food. We had an odd relationship. An odd, odd relationship.

The dust has settled...

Dan dusted our bedroom yesterday and as a result I slept through the night for the first time in three weeks and woke up with clear sinuses. It is utterly ridiculous that we didn't think of this after the second week of my complaints of a stuffy nose. Last summer when we moved in I could barely breathe in our apartment until we had dusted, swept, and mopped several times. And even though I often dust the dressers, the bookshelves, the desk and the window sills, we haven't actually done the blinds or the ceiling fan for a few months. So. Never again.

I lost .2 pounds this week, which put me exactly at a 20 pounds! Woo hoo! I started laughing when I saw the book. I am really happy that I lost at all, with only three days of exercise last week and TOM in town. Awesome! On a side note, I had set a goal to lose 5 pounds in August and I not only met it but surpassed it. I feel pretty good about that.

My goal for September is to lose 7 pounds. I'm setting the bar higher than I did last time, but I still don't want to shoot for 10, because it is a much harder goal to meet.

Also, for all you dieters out there, here are my products of the week that I can't live without:

1. Jello brand Dulche de Leche pudding cups. They are 60 calories per cup and they are a very satisfying snack. The top layer is caramel and the bottom layer is a sort of butterscotch/vanilla flavored pudding. It tastes very decadent.

2. Chex Mix Turtle Trail Bars (thanks Yolanda). They come in around 2 points and are probably the best tasting granola bar I've ever had. The chex mix is covered in caramel and there are pieces of pretzel and chocolate too. It tastes a lot like a candy bar, so I keep one in my purse now in case I get a sweet craving. They are also pretty big and usually fill me up for a couple hours.

3. Weight Watchers Peanut Butter Bars. Oh my God. These bars are SERIOUSLY delicious. They are one point per serving and on the smaller side, but I would compare them to eating a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup. The peanut butter is incredibly creamy and the chocolate is very chewy, just like the real thing. It's probably half the size of a 3 musketeers bar, but SO worth it.

That's all I've got for the day. Now that my sinuses are clear the headache is gone along with the feeling of drowsiness I'd been dealing with for so long. Back to exercise, I say! Hoorah! If it is raining tonight, my plan is to do yoga, weight training, and perhaps some Wii boxing. Very exciting stuff.

TOM

Weigh in tonight. TOM started today, which isn't a good sign. It can add up to 3 pounds in water weight, which sucks. Even if you actually maintained your weight for the week, you would show up as 3 pounds heavier. Blah. Everyone from WW says that TOM weight goes away the following week and not to worry, and that it is difficult to show your true weight loss during TOM. So I'm not going to be upset if I have a gain tonight. I'm just stating it in advance.

I'll wipe my nose on you!

So here is the deal. For the past three weeks I've been dealing with runny noses, sneezing, and just general misery in the face. I am at a point where I think it HAS to be allergies, but I still don't know quite what to do about it.

I didn't walk yesterday morning because I could barely breath through my nose. I was going to walk last night, but by the time we made decisions about casting and called everyone it was after 8pm and we still hadn't had dinner. So it sucked, but I was okay with it.

This morning my nose woke me up at 4am. I couldn't get it to calm down. Ridiculous! And now I am trying to weigh out whether I suffer the nose and the breathing and just walk, or try to wait again until tonight! It's always the worst in the morning and it usually clears up by mid afternoon. Actually, I just checked with Dan and he said that he would go on a walk with me before Weight Watchers and before dinner. So that's good at least.

We're also going to dust the hell out of our bedroom, just in case that's what the problem is. The last time we dusted may have been during Margaret Fleming...

In general though, I hope this nose/allergy crap goes away. I HATE feeling sick in the morning. I hate waking up early because my nose is stuffed up. Yuck!

There is a weigh in tonight! I'm nervous, as always and thinking about everything I potentially did wrong this week. Oh well, for better or for worse it is always better to weigh in than to skip it.